Blood-Mage Hunters

Vampire Hunters

"The last time I stepped into a church was like 100 and something fucking years ago," Cyrus scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest like an annoyed little kid. "So why the fuck do I have to go there?" he asked, pouting and glaring at Lucius.

"To find God and make friends with the priests," Reia answered, sarcasm rolling off his tongue, not looking up from the papers he was reading.

"Make friends with those fuckers? When have I ever been known for being friendly? Especially with people I wanna blow up?" Cyrus rolled his eyes.

Lucius sighed, annoyed by his uncooperative friend. "He was sarcastic, Cyrus," Lucius said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "And maybe if you didn't have a stick so far up your ass then you would actually be able to communicate with someone without turning it into a yelling contest," he added, matter-of-factly.

Cyrus gave him a dirty look, beginning to walk towards him with the intention of fighting. Again.

"I'm gonna pull that stick out of his ass and beat you both with it if you don't stop," Reia snapped, rubbing his temples in exasperation while he was trying to read the plan they -and by they I mean Reia and Lucius- came up with one more time.

Both of the vampires stopped, mumbling curses under their breaths as they gave each other nasty glares.

"Do both of you know what you have to do?" Reia asked, looking up at them with a stern look.

"I obviously do," Lucius rolled his eyes, then he side glanced at Cyrus. "I'm not so sure about this gorilla with no braincells though," he added, making Cyrus's eyes snap at him again, his fists clenching.

To break their one hundredth attempt at a fight, Reia coughed, grabbing their attention again. He silently looked at Cyrus, waiting for the vampire to say whether or not he knew what he had to do.

"I still don't get why I have to be the one to capture the vampire hunters in the church," he complained, plopping down on a chair. "Vampire hunters are already annoying enough, but vampire hunters horny for God? That's even worse. I'm probably gonna end up killing myself before I kill them," Cyrus groaned, his face being a combination of disgust, anger and desperation.

"Your gas bombs will work more efficiently in an enclosed space, so that's why you're the one going there," Lucius tried explaining, but Cyrus just gave him an annoyed look that said he did not understand a single thing.

Lucius sighed, stepping forward and bending down, crouching in front of Cyrus like he was a small (and a little more stupid than average) kid. "You can go boom boom in there and they won't be able to run," he reexplained and Cyrus's face instantly lit up, finally understanding what they meant.

He excitedly got up, grabbing his coat and bolting out the door of their hideout, rushing towards the church. "JESUS, HERE I COME!" he yelled, earning some confused looks on the streets.

"Jesus Christ," both Reia and Lucius mumbled at the same time, staring at the still running Cyrus with faces that said "disappointed, but not surprised".

*********

Cyrus wasn't known for being good at stealth or sneaking somewhere without being noticed. However, with the promise of being able to use his oh so loved creations and blow things up still present in his mind, he tried his best to enter the church undetected. And he somehow succeeded. Mostly because the vampire hunters in there were yelling at each other, not even noticing when Cyrus walked right through the front door. He walked a few steps forward, but then he turned back around and locked the door behind him, throwing the key in his pocket, his last functional braincell doing its job for once.