Dont know anymore (complete)

5

things between Jax and me were going great. we are both very loving and devoted parents to Abel he's the light of our life. 

yeah, there are times when Jax is hardly home due to club matters or something that happened at the club and he's not wanting to come home.

I had often thought he was there cheating and I had brought it to him. and we had disagreements, we've had fights but never laid hands on each other. 

I had gotten his crow and things from that point seemed to get better.

I told him that I want to help him unwind or calm down when things go ass up with the club or when shit hits the fan. I told him I don't want him to stay there and those sluts think they can get his dick just cause he's there.

 I told him I trust him and my trust only goes so far. but if I ever find out he's cheating on me with a croweater or pornstar or any woman then as I had told him before we got fully together that I'd make you regret it and I am not blowing smoke out my ass.

Now here we are at Gemma and JT's place for the annual dinner.

 Abel is asleep in Jax's old bedroom sleeping in his cot.

I sat across Jax watching him as different things were being said that were occurring with the club and how they wanna handle things. 

He looked up at me and I winked at him before giving him a soft smile.  he gave me a soft smile in return.

after dinner, the guys headed to a different room while I went to check on Abel before I carried him down and gave him the bottle Gemma had just warmed up having heard me talking to Abel as I walked down the stairs.

"When are you gonna give him a sibling?" Gemma asked

I looked up at her.

"When I can find out that he's keeping his dick in his pants and that I don't need to think he's gonna bring STDs to me and Abel," I replied

"and if he is?" she asked

"well then I'll handle it." I replied

she nodded her head not asking more just walking off to boss the croweaters around.

I got up and burped Abel before I walked to where the guys were having just finished their discussion cause a bunch of the croweaters that were sadly there walked in and placed themselves on the guys.

I stood watching Jax seeing what he was about to do and I watched him shove the girl off him.

"ouch what's the big idea?" she asked

"I'm taken and you'll not fuck it up," he says

"so you fucked me two nights ago. you have been fucking all of us croweaters since being "taken"  but it's not stopped you" she says

I say nothing just go grab Abel's diaper bag and left.

Jax came home shortly after.

I was picking up the toys that were left on the floor while Abel was in his glider.

"what you heard isn't true," he says

I stopped what I was doing and looked at him.

"Be honest with me okay? that's all I am asking you. cause I can tell when you lie to me. since that night I had given you a chance till now Have you been fucking multipule pussy?" I asked 

I looked at him waiting to see if he'd do as he'd normally do when he'd lie or if he was gonna be honest.

"a few times," he says

I sighed and dropped my head before I looked back at him.

"why? why did you waste my time if you were still gonna fuck gapped pussy, loose pussy, and HIV pussy?" I asked

" I thought it was unreal that you giving me a change was just a dream that I had conjured up." he says

"that's what you're going with?" I asked

"it's true as stupid and pathetic as it sounds." he says

"and you never thought to come clean to me. you waited till a gaped gash opened her mouth after the annual dinner?" I asked

"I didn't wanna lose you," he says

"no you wanted to be selfish, you wanted to live in the fantasy life of the manwhore that you were and probably still are. while I was being as faithful and honest with you and to you as I was hoping you'd be with and to me. but it was foolish of me to think that. " I say

I walked off with the bucket of toys.

"I'm sorry," he says following me.

"right," I say as I put the toys away.

"you are gonna pay me back arent you?' he asked

"wasn't that what I told you? " I asked

"yeah," he says

" okay then," I say 

nothing after that was said I got Abel bathed and in bed. after that, I headed to bed in the guest room after I showered.