Is this Love? | ONC 2023

six

"You were blushing earlier. What was that about?" Kaeleigh asks me as I begin to pack up my backpack. I laugh nervously, considering how best to proceed with this conversation. I could simply deny that I was blushing, but she'd call me out on it. My mind wandered to dismissal before I got on the bus. I get a weird feeling in my stomach.

"Hmm..." I hum, giving myself more time to think. Should I tell Kaeleigh about that? I pull at my ear.

"Jac?" She's looking at me with pinched brows, the worry evident in her face. "I'm sorry if I was pushy. We don't have to talk about it again if you're uncomfortable. 'Kay?"

I nod. I guess that answers that question. "Okay, thank you." I smile.

Kaeleigh laughs, pushing my shoulder. "You rat! You pretended to be all mopey so we wouldn't talk about it," she accused, still laughing. My smile widens at the infectiousness of her laughter.

"That's not it at all."

"Yeah, yeah," she waves me off, "I already gave you the pass. Next time, I won't be so easily fooled!"

I laugh, shaking my head. "Yes ma'am."

"Good. Glad we cleared that up." She grabs her phone. "Hey, you think your mom will let me stay for dinner? I'm starved."

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind."

***

After dinner, mom and dad drive Kaeleigh home, leaving me and Kelsy alone. My mind felt clouded. There were too many thoughts, both complete and incomplete, competing for my attention. I think back to gym, to Dakota. When I first saw him and he screamed, "I'm open!" The image of him finger combing his hair into a ponytail then appears, and the smell of his cologne seemingly fills my nose as I remember him sitting beside me on the field. Despite how sweaty he was, he didn't smell.

I hum frustrated. Why was he occupying my thoughts like this? I couldn't understand, just like I couldn't make sense of his comment in the bus line. Were boys always so forward? I wondered if Xavier approached Kaeleigh as boldly. If he had, I guess it was for the best, right? The two were in a relationship and seemingly happy together. It sure seemed that way from an outsider's perspective. I hum again, this time in thought. If he had that means Kaeleigh found it flattering, right? Should I have thought the same today with Dakota? I don't know. Maybe I should have told Kaeleigh earlier and gotten her insight. Or maybe I should ask Justin? He's a boy.

My phone buzzes, snatching me from my thoughts. "Hey Siri, read messages."

"Mom sent a new message," Siri's robotic voice responded, "It says: 'We're heading home.' Would you like to reply?"

"No."

"That's everything."

I sigh, sinking deeper into the couch. "I wonder how dad approached mom," I say aloud.

"Why?" I jump at the voice, whipping my head around to see Kelsy sitting on the steps.

"Jesus, Kelsy! How long have you been sitting here?" I ask, a hand over my racing heart. "Why are you sitting on the steps in the dark? Weirdo."

"Why?" She asks again.

I groan, rolling my eyes and returning to my position on the couch. "No reason," I say.

"Whatever," I hear her respond.

Not long after, I hear keys jingle outside the front door. I jumped up, walked around the couch and opened the door for my parents. "Oh, thank you," my mom smiles at me, taking her key out of the keyhole. I step back so they can come inside; my dad locks the screen door, then shuts and locks the actual door. "Kaeleigh's mother asked when you were coming over again."