Radioactive | Bucky Barnes

Captain America: The First Avenger (23)

Rhiley woke up in her bed. Sweat-drenched, chest tight, mouth dry. She turned the lamp on the side of her bed and took in a deep breath. Then she heard a knock at her door. It was loud, unpleasant, and not welcome. "Go away!"

"Rhiley." It was Howard. "Let me in."

"Go away, Howard!" Rhiley responded, falling down her head and hitting the pillow. The door clicked, unlocked, and opened. Howard emerged, closing it behind him. "I'm not in the mood Howard."

"Too bad." Howard set down a bag, "Since you refused to stay in the medical wing. You get me."

"I'm fine." She rolled over to face the wall, refusing to look at her brother.

"Do you not remember the fact your chest was basically smashed in? If you weren't you - you'd be dead!" Howard rummaged through his bag, "And let's not forget the bleeding from the eyes like a horror movie."

"I am fine, Howard," Rhiley repeated.

"Not once, in your life, have you reacted to your powers like that." Howard explained, "They've never harmed you before, Rhiley. We need to figure this out."

"We don't need to do anything." Rhiley snapped, leaning up from her bed. "I don't need you."

Howard frowned at his sister, "You don't mean that."

Rhiley laid back down on her side facing away from Howard, "Just leave me alone." Her bed sunk as Howard sat at the edge. He placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. Rhiley didn't flinch nor pull away. She couldn't.

"I am so sorry, Rhiley."

Rhiley squeezed her eyes shut hoping to stop the tears. That didn't work. They escaped and drenched her sheets. Her throat tightened and all she wanted to do was scream in pain. She curled deeper into herself just wanting to disappear.

Howard's never seen his sister like this before. It broke his heart and he couldn't fix it. He couldn't fix this. "What do you need from me, Rhiley." He asked softly, squeezing her shoulder once more to remind her that he was there. That he would always be there.

Rhiley couldn't figure out how to form the words she wanted to say. She felt everything and nothing all at once. So, instead of using her voice her hand moved and covered Howard's and she squeezed back. That's all she was able to do.

"I didn't know you, and then all at once, you were the air in my lungs."

~ applesofsilver

Peggy stepped through the makeshift door to see Steve take a sip from a beer at the bar. "Dr. Erskine told me the serum, wouldn't just work on my muscles and my reflexes - he said it would work in my cells, create a protective system of healing, of regenerating. Which means" He turns to look at her, "I can't get drunk. Did you know that?"

"Your metabolism burns three times faster than average." Peggy responded, "He thought it would be one of the side effects."

"Probably didn't want anybody stealing his schnapps."

"It wasn't your fault."

"You read the report?"

"Yes."

"Then you know that's not true."

"You did everything you could-"

Steve cut her off, "I got in over my head. Bucky waded in and pulled me out, just like he always did. And the one time he needed me to return the favor, I couldn't." He shakes his head, "And Rhiley-"

Peggy cuts Steve off, "I doubt it's that simple."

"All I had to do was hold him."

"Did you believe in your friend?" Peggy sat down, "Respect him?"

"Of course."

"Then stop blaming yourself. Allow Barnes the dignity of his choice. He damn well must have thought you were worth it." Peggy looked away, "And Rhiley-"

"He loved her." Steve jumped in, feeling even more guilty than he had before, "He spent every waking moment talking about her. The life he wanted with her. How he wanted to get married and have two kids, a boy, and a girl. He told me everything. Now he can't have that."

"Rhiley will be okay," Peggy told Steve, but even she could hear the doubt in her voice.

"As soon as I finish this, I'm going after Johann Schmidt. I'm going to burn out every hole there is for him to hide in. And I'm not going to stop until he and all of Hydra are captured or dead."

Peggy grabbed Steve's half-finished beer and downs it. Then she puts it down, "Let's go then."

Feverish. That's the only way Rhiley was able to explain how she felt. Not a drop of sweat on her skin. Yet, she could feel the heat radiating from her body. As though the rage she felt herself drowning in was fueling the pulse deep inside her core.

She felt nauseous. Not used to being unable to control herself and her abilities. Items flung around her room. Luckily, everyone was terrified to check on the young heartbroken woman. Especially when they could hear glass shatter against the wall from where they were.

Rhiley sat, defeated, in the middle of the small room she had called home for the last couple of weeks. It didn't feel like home anymore. Ash marks her bare arms, scorch marks her bare feet and hands, and the places she has touched; blankets, her desk, and the broken mirror in the bathroom.

Then there was her tear-stained face. She covered the sound of her sobs behind her hands as she kept her mouth shut with her hands. All she wanted to do was curl up on her side and disappear. She wanted to run away. Leave everything she knew behind. She felt sick, she was pissed -- she was empty.

She ran her fingers through her knotted-up hair and let out a shaking breath and for the first time that night, she allowed herself to make a sound.

She screamed.

"I will never forget the way you looked at me."