A/N: If you somehow got fooled by my mediocre attempt at an April Fool's joke last chapter, well... Go back and scroll down it was a real chapter. If you didn't, then congrats!
E n j o y t h e c h a p t e r ! ! !
Crescent Crow: *Caw* *Caw*
Asher: What?
Crescent Crow: *Caw*
[The Crescent Crow hops forward towards the glove box and grabs the pack of matches inside of it with its beak before spreading its wings. It then jumps up into the air and flies out of the rear panel window.]
Asher: Hey! Get back here with my matches you feathered bastard!
[The Crescent Crow flies up past Jerry unnoticed and into the sky. Another stick of lit dynamite flies in front of the truck a bit off to the left side. Asher turns the truck slightly to avoid it. The dynamite blows up just as he passes by, shaking the truck and Asher slightly. He straightens out the vehicle and looks over his shoulder out the rear panel.]
Asher: Damnit Jerry! Could you please just shoot the truck that's throwing dynamite at us!? It's really starting to get on my nerves!
[Jerry pulls the lever on top of his crossbow back completely causing it to click into place. He then stops loading it and looks over his shoulder at Asher.]
Jerry: Do you know how hard it is to shoot a moving vehicle while also in something that's moving incredibly quickly?!
Asher: Uhhhhmm... Actually, yes... I do.
[Jerry stares at Asher silently for a second.]
Jerry: Oh... Well...
[He turns back around and grabs a spear before going back to loading the crossbow.]
Jerry: Then you know it's pretty difficult...
[He then sets the spear onto the crossbow and places his left hand on the bottom of it before raising it and taking aim at the pickup containing the dynamite on the left. (Which, a reminder, was previously the one in the center before he blew up the one on the left.) He sees the two demons in the back of the truck and lowers his aim so that he can hit the front of the pickup. He closes his left eye and places his hand on the trigger lever.]
*Bump*
*CLANK!*
[The Truck drives over a bump causing Jerry to change his aim and preemptively push the lever. The spear flies out of the crossbow and toward the pickup truck, but instead of hitting the pickup itself, it nails the second Demon in the back of the truck right in his chest. In less than a second he is sent flying out of the truck and far behind them into the dirt road.]
Demon 1: HOLY SHIT!
[The Demon watches the other one disappear behind them seconds later. He turns towards Jerry in the Truck ahead of him looking quite pissed.]
Demon 1: YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT!
[Jerry lowers the crossbow and lets out an annoyed grunt.]
Jerry: *Annoyed Grunt* Eheh... At least I hit something this time.
[He lifts up the crossbow and looks at it with an eyebrow raised.]
Jerry: Maybe there's something wrong with the sights...
[Asher looks over his shoulder at Jerry with a smirk under his gas mask.]
Asher: Yea, blame the crosshairs and not your shooting skills.
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Headaches & Hazbins: Book 1: New Kind of Life, New Kind of Hell
FanfictionYa either go up or down... A small-time robber, Asher C. Burns, takes the trip down after he meets his end in an attempt to save his boss from life in prison at Alcatraz. After death, he finds himself in the chaotic hellhole of Pentagram City. Now p...
