Tequila Nights, Tipsy Lights (Revelry Series #3)

Hakbang 15

There was something in me that didn't want to entertain thoughts regarding Avino's actions... and these weird ass feelings lately. Especially those moments we had in Boracay.

I didn't want to. Reason? I do not fucking know, too.

Kaya kinabukasan pagkatapos ng away namin, o kung matatawag ba 'yong away, nagpanggap akong parang walang nangyari. Avino's carefully watching me, like he expects me to explode any minute... but I didn't.

He ate the cake I bought. Nagpaalam naman sa akin at tumango lang ako. He didn't ask if that was for him, he just ask if he can eat it. Hindi ko rin naman sinabing kaniya 'yon kahit na alam kong alam naman niya ang totoo. He sounded so sure last night that it was his.

I was unusually silent that morning, and I was so glad he didn't dare talk about what happened.

Kasi ano bang nangyari bukod sa away namin?

Hindi ako nakatulog! I kept hearing his voice the whole fucking time!

"Ang sarap magalit sa'yo kapag pinapamigay mo ako... Hindi lang kita matiis kasi... ang sarap mo rin suyuin."

It was like a chant in my mind. A constant loop. One that is so defined.

Masarap akong suyuin? Masarap manuyo? That's... bullshit. When I want to be mad at someone, I will be mad! Hindi 'yong hindi ko matitiis kasi... masarap suyuin.

I don't get it.

Si Avino lang naman ata ang ganoon. He's weird. At napatunayan kong siya lang talaga ang ganoon nang tinanong ko ang mga pinsan ko pagkauwi namin galing bakasyon.

It's bothering me, alright!

"We used to fight before. Do you think... masarap akong suyuin?"

Arson laughed, like he finds it funny. Sinapak ko ang braso niya. Para bang katawa tawa ang tanong ko. I'm damn serious here!

"Masarap kang pitikin." Aniya.

"Pero sinusuyo mo ako noon, I remember," taas kilay kong sabi.

"I just want to end the petty fight. I want to be the bigger person, Killa."

Umarte akong parang nasusuka sa sagot niya. Bigger person my ass! Tumawa lang siya at nang-asar pa.

At dahil pakiramdam ko walang kwentang kausap si Arson, tinanong ko na rin pati si Eira.

And I got almost the same answer.

"What kind of question is that? Masarap kang suyuin? If anything, masarap kang sabunutan kapag magkaaway tayo dahil hindi ka nagpapatalo!"

Fuck. Then why the hell would Avino...

"Ang masarap lang suyuin kapag magkaaway ay boyfriend, hindi pinsan. Right?" patuloy niya.

No? I don't think so?

"Try arguing with Avino, you'll have this urge in you to woo him. I don't know, Killa. That's what loves do,"

I shook my head. Love, huh? We don't love each other that way. I still didn't love someone... that way.

Looking back, Kier was my first boyfriend and I liked him enough to be in a relationship with him. But love? I don't think my feelings for him reached that point. Kaya hindi rin ako nanunuyo noon kapag nag-aaway kami.

But wait. No. I don't think Eira's right, though. Bakit ako susuyuin ni Avino? Hindi naman niya ako mahal sa ganoong paraan.

Maybe it's just him as a person. He couldn't stand a fight with his friends so manunuyo siya? That's more probable.