Tequila Nights, Tipsy Lights (Revelry Series #3)

Hakbang 21

a/n: after years i've had the chance to listen to patch quiwa's "simula pa noong una", and i realized the song is soooo killavino coded. give it a try if you have timeee!

and i miss you. life's been so hard lately. still glad i have my refuge here.

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

Sunday and I was so unproductive. All I did the whole morning was to recover from the sex. Mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Nauna akong magising kaysa kay Avino. Alas singko pa lang mulat na ako. We were both still naked when I wake up from his bed. His arms were wrapped around my waist so I had to slowly put it away. Ayaw ko munang magising siya nang makapag-isip naman ako mag-isa!

I didn't have my clothes here. If I remember, it was scattered on the living room floor. I swallowed hard when I remembered all the things we did.

It's early in the fucking morning, Killa!

Umirap ako sa kawalan at sinuklay ang buhok. I need to go to my room. Magbibihis muna ako para hindi hubad kapag nagising ang isang 'to dahil... delikado na. We might fuck again.

I stared at Avino for a while. He's sleeping peacefully. His hair is unruly and he's sleeping on his stomach. The muscles of his back were clear in my sight. I rolled my eyes more, and slowly got up.

Dahil nakahubad, nagmamadali ako noong lumabas. I couldn't bring the duvet since it was wrapped around him so I had no choice but to go out fully naked. Dumaan pa nga ako sa living room para kunin ang damit namin, bago tuluyang pumasok sa kwarto ko.

I immediately wore a fresh panty and covered myself with a bathrobe when I got inside. One long sigh then I threw myself in bed.

So... what now? How do we go from here?

What are we?

Damn, I had to laugh at my own thoughts. If someone had told me before that I'd find myself entangled with Avino this way, and that I would have these internal thoughts of what are we after being fucked by him, I would've laughed and called it bullshit. But right now I just really want to know.

Fine! We... like each other. Then what? Are we together? Or not? Because I know you can do this to someone then still be not together. That apply to us? So... what do I call us? Friends with benefits?

Now that is... bullshit. We couldn't be friends anymore if we liked each other more than that. I don't fuck my friends. We need to talk about this. At hindi ba sabi niya kagabi gusto niyang totohanin ang kasal? O nasabi niya lang 'yon dahil nasa gitna kami ng sarap?

At... gusto ko rin nga ba talaga 'yon?

Hinilot ko ang sentido. Damn you, Avino! You get to fuck my brains off, literally and figuratively! This is ridiculous. I am... ridiculous.

Sa sobrang pag-iisip ko, hindi ko namalayan na nakaidlip na ako. Nagising na lang ulit ako dahil sa katok. Kadidilat pa lang, nanlamig na agad ang tiyan ko. Because of course... the one knocking on my door is the same man who I fucked last night! Sino pa ba, eh, kaming dalawa lang naman ang nandito.

I let out a long sigh, then rose to my feet. There's some crawling on my stomach, and I feel as if a cold wind is seeping through my body. The urge to not open the door is strong. Pabayaan ko siyang kumatok hanggang mapagod. But I'm seriously done with avoiding conversations. Done with pretending. Done being just friends with him.

Kaya binuksan ko ang pinto. Dahan-dahan dahil bahagyang nanginginig ang kamay ko. I scoffed as I stared at my hands. I still really can't believe he can affect me like this. Dati naman wala akong pakialam!