Starlight

01|| stranger danger

eudaemonia : the state of being lucky.

Chlorine-Twenty One Pilots

ZELIA MOORE

The brain is complex and vital to humans.

That's somewhat the textbook definition, but really, it was like a jigsaw made up of so many pieces that could just as easily be lost or damaged.

It seemed as if many didn't take care of it,at least as something seemingly valuable should be taken care of. Instead, they treated it like a toddler would treat a toy.

Horribly.

Hypocrisy is a juvenile trait, so instead of indulging in it, I'll be truthful.

I only understood its importance recently, when years of pent-up emotions came crashing down like a tsunami.

You see, mental health was crucial.

My parents didn't believe in any issues pertaining to mental health; to them, it was a lazy man's excuse and just as mythical as Jack and the Beanstalk.

Growing up, I had the same mentality. It wasn't my fault.

Honestly.

During my last year of schooling in England, there was a fire in our town, and among the casualties of that night were my parents.

Sometimes you never understand the importance of something until you have to see its effects firsthand and instead decide to be ignorant and terribly misguided.

I had no recollection of learning about mental health, so my mind was conditioned to believe it didn't exist, and once faced with its symptoms, I was unable to cope.

I fell into a spiral after their deaths, thinking about what I could have done differently. Why couldn't I save them? School was too much. Having fun was not important. Life made me angry.

Death never scared me. It was inevitable in a way, but I never realised the forms it could take. My parents deaths were the cruelest. I vividly remember that night they had been going on a date because, even after twenty years of marriage, they were in awe of each other, like they had only met yesterday.

I remembered the smell of popcorn as I hurriedly said my goodbyes to them as they left for their evening. I remember the phone ringing during the night and how I rushed to the restaurant to find out they were long gone before I ever got there.

When they said goodbye that night, I never thought that would be their last.

My eighteenth birthday earlier that year meant I was too old for the foster system, and in an effort to escape the memories, I sold the house we lived in and moved into a flat using the money.

My grades began to slip at first, and my motivation for anything was nonexistent.

However,knowing my parents valued education as working-class citizens who came to the country virtually penniless, I tried for the remainder of the school year to get into university.

My efforts paid off because, when I opened my report at the end of the year, I realised I could finally leave the town where everything went wrong.

Edinburgh became my safe haven for the next three years as I slowly eased into my old self while going to university,making friends, and slowly finding myself again, but I still felt lonely.

Luckily, Miss Denver, the owner of the cafe where I worked, indulged me in daily conversations, slowly giving me valuable advice and helping me understand that I had to see a professional if I wanted to move on in a healthy way.