Eden Motherlandtrilogy 1

Chapter 10,11/ Teil5

  10. End

When I woke up, I didn't know where I was, but one thing I definitely was - panicking.

Everything was damp here, my clothes, my feet, the walls - everything. But there was no water anywhere. I was used to starving. But my thirst was killing me. I wasn't even cold anymore. On the contrary. I was hot. I was literally on fire. Then why were my teeth chattering? And what I didn't understand either. What should I have in my pocket? What did Leni mean?

I checked... And suddenly I had something smooth in my hand. When I pulled it out of my pocket, I saw that it was yellow. I turned on the fire and it was burning. A little flame was dancing. I laughed and was happy. But what should I do with it now? I couldn't think. My brain was like thin, bubbling soup and no thought swam in it.

There were small, finger-thick holes at the top of the lid. Maybe I could burn something. But what? Everything was wet here. My thirst was getting stronger. I also had the feeling that the light was already dimming. Still, for the life of me I couldn't scream. My throat was so dry. Maybe I should chew earth or something. It was so wet, maybe I could suck the water out. I let the flame go out and approached the wall with my lips and began to lick the earth. It tasted salty somehow. But it did not quench my thirst. All at once something slimy crawled over my fingers. I threw the worm into the mud. No, I wouldn't get anywhere like this. A clear flash flashed through my thought soup and I took off my shirt. I dropped it on the ground and scooped mud on it with my hands. When I lifted the shirt it was heavy. I formed a small bag and twisted the fabric tighter and tighter. Water was flowing, I had done it. I squeezed it even more and held the mud sack over my mouth. Broth flowed over my lips, I opened it, it flowed down my throat and tasted bitter, but I drank and slurped and repeated the process. Although it was not real water, the wetness made its way down my throat into my belly, where a fire was burning.

Speaking of fire...what could I burn? After thinking about it for a while, I came to the conclusion that I had nothing. My trousers were wet, my body was wet. Everything was wet. Everything except...the cloth. It was the only option. If I managed to soak it in petrol and set it on fire and then stuff it through a hole like that, someone would be able to see the flame. I tore it off my head. The light was getting less and less; if I didn't succeed soon, it would be too late. How was I going to get the petrol out of there? I pulled the ribbon off my head and as if in a frenzy I tore out two tufts of hair. I had once heard that hair burns well. My fingers were shaking and I tried to unscrew the lighter. I had to make it, because if I didn't, it would be the end.

"Go up! Please open!" I dug my fingernails into the metal casing but it did not move. I tried with my teeth and pulled with my hand.

"Go to, you fucking thing!"

The lighter was slippery and - I had no idea why - it slipped out of my mouth and fell. I tried to catch it but missed. It splashed when it landed in the mud.

"No, oh no! Please don't!" I dropped to my knees and my fingers groped erratically through the cold mud. Nothing! It wouldn't work.

I pressed Leni's cloth to my forehead. It smelled very delicately of violets.

"I'm sorry! I will never see you again!"

Somewhere far behind I heard my name being called.

"Christo? Christo?" But it couldn't be. Who would be looking for me? My head was spinning and I was surely imagining it. Then I felt something hard in the mud: the lighter!

I wiped it dry on the cloth and tried if it still worked. It didn't burn on the first try, nor on the second. But the third attempt brought out a small flame. I dug my fingernail under the hot metal and all at once it popped off. Then I soaked a corner of the cloth with the liquid, but made sure that there was still some left in the yellow plastic tube. I put the metal cap on again and ran my finger over the wheel. It clicked and clicked, a flame came out - this time smaller than the last one. Now it was time. In the last light I scaled the wall. My knees were trembling.