The Blood of Amietta

XXVI. Where Oceans Meet

"Amietta!"

The voice startles me. I freeze on the cobbled path, my heart immediately climbing its way into my throat.

I know that voice.

I turn and lock eyes with the stranger. There's more wrinkles lining her face then I remember, but it's her. Her hazel eyes shine with tears and I feel my chest constrict at the sight of her graying hair.

"Mama," I mumble numbly.

She pulls me into a hug, crushing me tightly. Her sword digs uncomfortably into my side and I wince. Everything about the embrace is so achingly familiar and foreign at the same time. It feels like I've entered a dream.

I shake my head, forcing the nostalgia to wash out of me.

I can't deal with this right now.

Through all of the heartache about my father, it completely slipped my mind that Ettiana's here. I'm not prepared one bit.

It's been a couple of hours since my conversation with Evadne. I sat in that room and cried until I had nothing left to give. Pathetic, I know. It took me much too long to scrape myself together enough to rejoin the world, but I did it. I'm here.

That was my time to be weak. Now I must be strong.

Noelani needs me right now– we have a mission to accomplish.

"Amietta, sweetie," Ettiana cries. She sniffles against my shoulder and I scowl, pulling away from her.

"Stop it," I snap, still trying to escape her grasp.

She frowns, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "Amietta?"

"It's Mila," I correct dryly. "I don't want to talk to you."

She recoils, her eyes filling with tears again. "Amietta..."

"Stop calling me that. It's Mila, dammit!" I shout.

My outburst causes a number of sorcerers to pause their training. They stare at us with shocked looks on their faces. I turn away, thoroughly embarrassed as Ettiana assures everyone not to worry. I need to cool off or I'm going to end up saying something that I'll regret.

"I need to go," I say with a sigh.

"Just wait," Ettiana begs. "Let's talk about this. Please."

I grit my teeth as she reaches out, grabbing my shoulder and steering me to a more private section of the walkway.

"I'm so glad you're safe," she says.

No thanks to you.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm down. Then another. And another.

It doesn't work.

I know what I should do. I should explain to her that I need time. I'm not ready to have this conversation yet. But I just can't get the words to leave my mouth.

Ettiana notices my internal struggle and rushes to fill the silence.

"You have to believe me," she says quickly. "It wasn't supposed to turn out like this."

I turn to face her, suddenly finding my voice. "Did you even look for me?"

"O-of course," she sputters.

"What changed? What made you give up?"

She doesn't answer, so I force myself to look at her. She's frowning at me, tears spilling from her eyes. It all wells up inside of me suddenly– the anger, the sadness. The grief. I can't stop the rush of emotions, but that doesn't mean I have to let her see how it affects me.