Secret admirer || Pansmione || texting/pov

19

Pansy Parkinson

"Parkinson!"

The angry voice caused many heads to turn. Obviously, i recognized that voice. Hermione came storming towards me. She seemed enraged. "Who do you think you are?!" Dumbfounded, I simply stared at the girl, my lips slightly ajar as she came to a halt in front of me. She paused, waiting for an answer I didn't provide. Her eyebrows twitched. "Well?" 

I swallowed and glanced at the small crowd of students watching us. Hermione followed my gaze and then turned to me again, her expression a little less fiery now. She paused once more and sighed. What the hell. What the hell. What is going on. Why is she talking to me? She'd never come and talk to - unless...

Suddenly, Hermione grabbed my wrist and started dragging me along. I yelped, but didn't pull myself free. Her hand was warm and soft, a bit tight around my arm, but in that moment I couldn't care less about my blood flow. Her touch was something my entire body longed for, and had been for quite some time. Before I knew it, Hermione had dragged me into an empty classroom and let go.

It was pretty dark. The blinds were closed, so the only light in the room came from the cracks by the door. My eyes took a little while before they got used to the ambience. It was always a little strange, being in a classroom when not in class. It felt slightly illegal. That and the anger of the girl in there with me made me a little scared.

Hermione turned away from me and took a few steps. I frowned, wondering if I should say something. I figured she was the one who had something to say, so she should start. Hermione ran a hand through her hair and then turned my way again. I couldn't really make out her expression, but I somehow didn't think she was angry anymore. The feeling had turned into something else. 

She inhaled. "Y-You had no right." Her voice was shaky and hesitant now. I frowned again, unsure of what she meant. The silence between us was uncomfortable. Hermione breathed in a way that I could tell she was trying her hardest not to cry. "Say something." She ordered after a while.

"I- I dont know what you're-" "Yes you do." She interrupted me. My heart dropped. 

She knew. 

How long had she known? Had she told anyone? 

I swallowed. I knew I wasn't getting out of this by lying, so I waited for her to continue. "You had no right." Her voice filled with hatred now. She paused again, looking for the words to voice what she was thinking. As was I. She inhaled shakily. 

"I was happy, blissfully unaware, and then you..," She sniffed. "You came along and made me question... Why would you do this to me?" She crossed her arms over her stomach, something she often did when she felt negative emotions. Guilt washed over me. 

"I just.. I just wanted..," I let out a breath. "I just wanted to talk to you," Hermione chuckled humourlessly. "I never meant to hurt you, Hermione, I just-" "Granger." I blinked. "What?" Hermione stepped forward. The light from the door now reflected on her face.

Tear streams marked her cheeks, her eyebrows were furrowed and her eyes stood cold. "We're not friends. We're nothing. It's Granger to you," She spoke. I paused, averted my gaze to the ground and nodded. "I need you to leave me alone. Don't talk to me, don't look at me, don't contact me in any way. I can't.. I can't be this way any longer, okay?"

Tears started welling up in my eyes. I remained silent. Hermione paused for a couple seconds. Then she turned around and walked to the door. My brain told me that was fair, to just shut up and let her leave. Leave her to live her life without ever thinking of me. But my heart.. 

"I'm so sorry." I whispered. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Hermione stopped. Her hand laid on the handle, but she didn't open the door. I sniffled and wiped away the tears streaming down my face. When I looked up her eyes met mine again. "Why did you save me?" She asked softly. 

I blinked a few times, trying to clear my vision. "Huh?" Hermione's hand slid off the handle and she turned to me. "That night. When Malfoy attacked me. Why did you help?" I bit the inside of my cheek while i thought about it. "I don't know," I fiddled with my nails. "I saw it happen, I was watching from the castle,"

Tears still rolled down my cheeks and I screamed at myself internally for not being able to stop it. I wasn't the victim here. "Usually, I tell myself they're my friends and you're... nobody,"

I paused, glancing up at her to see if I should finish my sentence. She was listening attentively, so I decided to give her the whole truth. "That you deserve everything that's coming to you.. I know I'm lying to myself whenever I do that, but I can't just barge in to help you every time, because my parents are... well..."

Hermione nodded, avoiding my gaze. Another set of tears fell to the ground. "That time, I couldn't. They were taking it too far and I was starting to get to know you... I couldn't pretend you weren't a person anymore. So I stopped them." '

She took a second to consider my words. Then she stepped closer to me. She now stood about 6 feet from me with her arms crossed. "I'm sorry too. For calling you.. for calling you a fag," My heart clenched. "I was angry, and trying to prove something I suppose. I didn't mean it and I regret it. I'm really sorry." 

I swallowed and nodded. "It's okay. I understand," I found myself telling her. I hadn't even registered it, what she'd called me, but thinking of it now, it hurts. She said it to hurt me. "Sometimes we do strange things to prove we're something we're not." 

"Is that what you think what happened in the library was?" Hermione asked. I exhaled. "Yes," The darkness was a kind of comfort now. I was glad I couldn't properly see her face, because now i could be honest. "Was it?"

"I don't know," Hermione whispered. She sat down on a desk behind her and looked at the floor. I followed her example and waited, knowing she'd talk more if I did. "Ron is good. He always makes me happy." She spoke after a moment, proving me right.

"But?"

"Yesterday I wasn't happy,"

She sighed and buried her face in her hands. I swallowed. "I'd never even thought of this stuff before you, and now I just can't get it out of my head. I can't get you out of my head." I let down my head. "I'm sorry I pushed this on you. You should be discovering this about yourself on your own-"

"I can't get you out of my head, Pansy."

---

Sorry I haven't been updating much.
I just got back and remembered about this account lol
Anyway, I think we're getting close to the end, so I'm going to try and finish up this book as quick as possible.
I have a lot of idea's for new stories, so I hope you'll stick with me even though I'm so unreliable :')
Hope you're enjoying this little "honest conversation" between the girls, it's not over yet XD

See you in the next chapter!