• deep down the rabbit hole. ▓ suguru niragi centered

隼人. ; 42

"hayato."

chishiya and me had stayed together for a few days after we met, to find arisu and the others. we ate together, sitting on a balcony in a house. i watched him munch on some kind of crackers that he had been eating almost constantly since i found him. 'do you have any ideas on how to find arisu and kuina? or ann? just- anyone.' he shook his head. 'noo idea.' i sighed. 'you're the genius here! please, you need to find a solution!' 'usagi!' he started, getting a bit annoyed. 'just because i'm smart doesn't mean i'm gps or something! yeah, i can make strategies for games and act them out, but that's it.'

i sighed. 'well, then we're making this a game. the game is called: find arisu, kuina or ann.' i said, a bit angry as well. he chuckled. 'you're smart, but that won't work. there are no conditions, any frame that i can work with.' he leaned back in the sentence. i stomped my feet like a kid. 'now, don't get angry at me.' 'okay, the conditions are: find them. you are not allowed to get found by the king of spades. eh...' frantically, i tried to find more rules.

'see, it doesn't work like that.' he grinned and went to the railing. 'i don't know what you'll do, but i will stay here until the king is defeated. i might join the queen of hearts game after that.' i groaned in frustration. 'you're such a coward!' he turned around. 'I'd call it smart.' he smirked. my lower lip trembled. 'you really have no morals, do you?! or ideals?!' he widened his eyes, and for a moment, i saw his facade drop. so i decided to continue. 'are you even human?! why did you take me with you? to sacrifice me if it gets heated?'

he didn't answer, he just looked at me. 'i-' and for the first time since i got to know him, he didn't know what to say. 'you know, we all, me, arisu, kuina, we would all risk our lives to save you. but you would never even think of that, am i right?' i was getting louder and stood up too. 'you think you're better than us because you're smart, right? well, guess what, you're not. i bet i would beat you in every single sport challenge we could do.' 

chishiya nodded slowly. 'i think you're right with that.' he mumbled and chuckled. 'so you're just going to ignoere everything else i just said?!' he hummed softly. 'usagi.' he called me after a silence. 'i think... i realised something.' 'and what?' he kept quiet, seemingly struggling to phrase his words. 'i don't really know how to explain it. but you reminded me of the king of diamonds.' he stopped. 'he made me overthink my life decisions... i tried to push it away, but i feel like, it finally caught up to me.' he lay his head into his neck.

'you're right, i don't have... ideals, or... morals.' he sighed, 'i feel like i only exist... to demonstrate... how empty a human can be.' i furrowed my eyebrows. 'what do you mean?' 'you know, the king of diamonds was kuzuryuu. and...he... his game was the beauty contest... really hard to explain... but the thing is, he made it fair, because he didn't want to define the value of a life.' chishiya sighed. 'it was interesting, really. in the end, he... let me win, you know. and he told me, that i helped him to follow his ideals... that really made me think a lot. he seemed... happy while doing so.'

he sighed. 'can i tell you something?' i nodded, too stunned to speak by his reveal. 'well, i was in a doctor in a hospital... and one of my patients died, because he couldn't get a transplant in time. my... superior gave it to a kid that was related to a sponsor of the hospital. corruption, you know? so that we wouldn't lose the sponsor. i always blamed my chef for changing it, but... i realised after that game, i—could at least have tried to stop him.' he sighed. 'i never cared about human lifes. my father did, and he did all the time. i can't remember his voice, or how he looks like, because i only ever saw his back when he was working on his computer.'

i needed to gulp. 'my mom was the same. they didn't love each other. they just married because of the hospital. and they only got me to carry on the family line.' he chuckled softly. 'back to the boy-when we're back in the real world, i won't let that happen again.'i stood up and went to him. that was hard. 'i'm sorry that happened to you.' he kept quiet. 'can i give you a hug?' he sighed. 'alright.' and i wrapped my arms around him. 'you might think you don't deserve love, because you never got it from your parents, but thats not true. you deserve to be loved. you don't need to manipulate other players to win the games. you can just count on us.' he smiled softly, blushing a bit. 'cute.'

---

we wandered through the streets in silence, searching for the others. there were a lot of people. 'players are gathering in shibuya.' chishiya said and i nodded. we followed them, in hopes to see arisu and the others again.

i looked through the masses, desperately trying to find them. 'do you see them? chishiya, do you see them??' he laughed. 'i'm not much taller than you, so no.' suddently, i saw a familiar ponytail of dreadlocks. 'they are there! ARISU! KUINA!' they turned around and i ran into arisus arms, hugging him tightly. 'arisu, i missed you so much!' i sobbed. he held me tight, and after the long time alone, i finally felt safe again. kuina hugged us both. 'good that you're with us again, usagi. arisu almost went insane by the thought that niragi had you.' 'well, that was-' i started to explain, but then- shot. shot. shot. the king of spades had arrived in shibuya.