chapter 10

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Pov Harry

Christmas arrived and I'm exhausted. Why? I don't know. The constant feeling that I have to show Draco I love him? the lessons? The nightmares? Maybe because everyone gossips about my sexuality. I only told my friends and I wanted to keep it with that. Draco told his friends, I'm fine with that but it spread like the fire in the room of requirements last year. Really fast. Why did I use the room of requirements as a comparison? I didn't want people to know this fast. I wanted to come out myself. Some people are disgusted with it. Some people bully me with it. Some people support me. The worst part is that Draco doesn't know. They never gossip about him. he is a former death eater. Everyone is scared for him. I love Draco so much, but I'm scared to tell him about how I feel right now. Scared, exhausted and alone. Why alone? I still have Remus, Sirius, and Draco himself, but still I feel alone.

"Hey Harry." Draco says in an excited tone. I smile at him. he just got his last training for quidditch before we leave for Christmas break. He looks so hot right now. His hair sticks on his forehead, and he is all sweaty. Why do I think that is hot? No; he did not just take of his shirt! his muscley body is now in good view. "Stop staring at me like that. It gives me the feeling you want to eat me. I don't know if that is a good thing or not." He says. I chuckle. "Sorry." I say, he gives me a kiss. "Are you wearing one of my shirts?" he asks. "Depends on if you're going to be mad or not." I answer. "I will never be mad at you." He says. "Okay I'm wearing one of your shirts." I answer. He chuckles. "where's James?" he asks. "Sirius is playing with him outside." I answer. He nods. "I'm going to take a shower." He says. "Okay, I'm going to search for Remus." I say. he nods and walks into the bathroom. I walk in the corridor. Moony where are you? I walk past his classroom. Ha! There he is. I knock on his door. "Come in." he says. I walk inside and sit on a chair. "Something is on your mind." He says. I nod. "You can tell me." He says. "I feel so exhausted, scared and so alone and I don't know why." I say. "I felt the same when I was your age. It's called puberty." He says. "I'm eighteen." I say. "Late puberty." He says. "It can't be. I already had that." I say. "You just feel exhausted because you work hard for school, you feel scared because you have your nightmares back, and don't deny it, and you feel alone because everyone on the hallway gossips about you. Yhea, I heard them. I had the same when I was around your age. I told Sirius about it, and we fought ourselves through it. It worked, look how happy I am right now. I have my own family." He says. "I wish I had a family." I say. "We are your family, Harry. Even though your parents were still alive, I would still be uncle moony, and Sirius would still be silly uncle padfoot." He says. I hug him. "I'm sorry." I say. "You don't have to apologize." he says. "I feel like I have to do that." I say. "But you don't." he answers. I nod. "Did you pack your trunk already?" he asks. "Yes. That's why I'm wearing Draco's shirt." I answer. "Hm? Does he know?" he asks. "Yes." I answer. "I always did the same with Sirius. I still have them, and he still doesn't know." He whispers. I chuckle and get up. "See you soon." He says and I walk away. "Did he just hug a teacher?" a whisper voice sounds in my ear. "that's pity." Another voice sounds. I sigh. "I bet he is like Hermione Granger, really annoying." Another voice sounds. I turn around. What now harry? "What did you just say?" I ask. "you're like Granger." A Hufflepuff says. "don't you dare speak about them like that. At least they fought in the war and didn't crawl into your mother's arms and cry!" I yell. He startles. Where did that come from? So confident. It's complete the opposite from what I am. "and the teacher I just hugged is the man who fed me up." I say. good Harry. "And yes, I am gay. I bet more of you are gay, or lesbian or bisexual. It isn't a shame. It's just the fucking same as hetero. Now shut the fuck up and stop gossiping it's not okay. People feel uncomfortable about it." I say. I walk away and open the door of my room. Draco is just changing. I start blushing. "Hey Harry." He says. I smile. "You look good like that but put some pants on and maybe a shirt." I say. he chuckles and does as I say. he gives me a kiss. "Did you talk to Remus?" he asks. "How do you know about that?" I ask. "Because I know you." He says. "Yhea, I talked to him. I feel loads better." I say. "Here." He tosses me some chocolate. "Eat." He demands. I smile and eat the chocolate. "Where is your stuff?" he asks. "I already packed." I say. "Okay." He says and starts packing too. "Can I have your quidditch shirt?" I beg him. "I can't say no to you." He tosses me his shirt. I smile and take it on. "Here." I say and throw the shirt I was wearing towards him. "I don't understand why you want that shirt. it's all sweaty." He says. "It smells good." I say. "It smells like my sweat." He says. "Yhea, I like that." I say. he lies next to me. "You are so cute in that shirt." he says. "I know." I say. he chuckles. "You look good without a shirt." I tease. He hums and closes his eyes. "Come on its 6 pm" I say. "Yhea. I'm tired I just played quidditch." He says. I take of his shirt. "at least I can admire something. If you close your eyes, I can't look at them." I say. he chuckles and closes his eyes again. I kiss him forehead. "I love you." I whisper. "I love you more." He says. I smile. I'm going to miss him this holiday. He is going to Paris for his mother. I sigh and kiss his chest. "don't do that baby." He says. I smirk. "Why not?" I ask. "Because it turns me on." He says. "a reason more why I should do it." I say, "you're pretty annoying like this." He mutters. "You called me pretty. Thank you." I giggle. "Oh my god." he looks in my eyes. "Am I your god?" I ask. "Harry." He whines. I chuckle and press my head on his chest. "Good night." I whisper. He smiles. I slowly move my hand towards his personal area. "Harry, stop it." He says. I chuckle. "Since when are you this horny?" he asks. "Since you entered our room after quidditch because you looked so good." I say. he chuckles. "Put your hands off me or I'm going to sleep in my own bed." He says. I sigh. There is a knock on the door. I roll of my bed and walk towards the door. I see Sirius. "Why weren't you at dinner?" he asks. "I forgot." I say. he hands me a plate. I start eating it. "Is Draco here?" he asks. "He is trying to sleep." I say. "Why trying?" he asks. "Because I'm annoying him." I say. he chuckles. "Are you back at stealing his quidditch shirt?" he asks. "Yes." I answer. He smiles. "I asked it this time." I say. "Good." He says and grabs the plate back. "Come." He says. "Where are we going?" I ask. "Professor MCgannegoll wants to see you." He says. I sigh and walk with him. there is no one in the corridors except for me and Sirius. "What does she want to talk about?" I ask. "She wants to talk about your grades." He says. I swallow. We enter her office. "You may go Professor Black." She says and Sirius leaves. I look at the old woman in front of me. "So?" she asks. "Good evening professor." I say. "Can you explain this?" she asks and puts a parchment with all my grades in front of me. They are all failed. Miserably failed. "no." I say. "You keep failing your tests." She says. "I know." I say. "Can you explain that?" she asks. "no." I say. she sighs. "I can." She says. I look at her. "You spend too much time on quidditch and your roommate. I think you find him remarkably interesting." She says. "It can't be because of quidditch. I play quidditch like I did when I was younger and yes Draco is really interesting, but his grades are good, and he studies a lot. It's just, I can't bring it up to study anymore. I have nightmares and constant flashbacks. It's hard to concentrate during classes." I say. "About what are your nightmares?" she asks. I don't answer her. "Answer me mister Potter!" she yells. I stay quiet looking at my hands. "Why don't you answer me?" she asks. "Because I don't like to talk about it." I answer. "Can I ask professor Lupin and Professor Black?" she asks. "Yes, but they don't know much about it." I answer. "Fine." She says. I look at her. "you're not allowed to quidditch until your grades are up again if it becomes worst, I will take mister Malfoy away from your room." She says. "But our team needs a seeker." I say. "You can still play the matches." She says. I look her in the eyes. "You may go." She says. I sigh and walk away. When I enter my room, I collapse on my bed. Without waking Draco. I wrap my arms around him. 

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