The End

Chapter 15: It Feels Right...

         As Patrick drove home, Ellen's words played on repeat in his head. It wasn't a ground-breaking discovery or a surprise to Patrick. In fact, they had been here a hundred times. They were predictable. Their chemistry only capable of withstanding each other's presence for so long before reacting. Anyone within a mile of them could sense what was coming, could see the pull between them. There was danger in their togetherness. He knew that from the moment he had laid eyes on her. A danger they could only avoid for so long.

And tonight, the danger was manifesting between them. The very thing that had made the last twenty years so tumultuous. A constant need to control it. To release just enough to make their relationship easy, to do their jobs, but contain the passion that oozed from a place that was intended to be innocent. That was the battle they'd faced since the beginning, some days he'd have to hate her so he didn't love her. Here, in the quiet of his car, he couldn't do that.

Her scent lingered on his skin, and his lips still on high alert from touching hers. She was once again a drug he found himself craving. Patrick remembered what it was like to give up control, to let his guard down, to free his instincts. But freeing those instincts didn't look the same as before. It looked like compromising the health and safety of their families.

The state of the world, the situation they once again gotten themselves tangled in was terrifying. But equally as terrifying was the thought of not seeing her again, of never feeling her lips against his. With her, even the highest of stakes felt worth it. They had lost enough time waiting for the right time. The right time wasn't coming, it was now or never. Life was moving fast.

He walked into his house feeling a little guiltier than he had expected to. He waved to Jillian as he passed her office. She was consumed with work phone calls. She smiled, "Uh huh," she spoke into her iPhone, "Yes," her voice slightly disconnected, "can you hold on one second my husband just walked in?" She muted her phone, "Hi," she smiled, "Did you have a nice time?"

"Yeah," he nodded and leaned against the door, "I think I'm going to do the show." He said trying to fill his discomfort with words.

"Wow," Jill raised an eyebrow, "She won you over huh," she paused, "Good for you." Her feigned happy tone didn't meet her eyes.

"Thanks," he nodded, "feels right."

"Hello, hello," the voice on the other end of Jillian's phone call beckoned.

Jillian rolled her eyes, "I'll be down here for a while."

"Do what you need to do," Patrick said feeling relieved by the end of the conversation. "I'm going to finish up my workout with a run."

He desperately needed to shake the chaos inside of him. The need to protect his family, the guilt he felt lying to Jillian, and the desperate need to be close to Ellen.

Patrick stepped on his treadmill and turned up the speed until his mind couldn't focus on the present. He let out a sigh of relief, listening to the sound of his feet pounding against the belt below him. It seemed to numb him for a moment,

His final scene of pilot left him with the strangest feeling in his chest. It wasn't just that his character had been unfaithful and his wife and the woman he was seeing now knew it, it was more than that. 'And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband.' Addison's words were sharp and powerful. Just watching her walk into the scene felt intimidating. He felt exposed.

Patrick swallowed the strange feeling and clapped with the rest of the cast and crew. Their little mid-season fill in came to a close. There were rumors of renewal but nothing set in stone. Regardless of the outcome, they were proud of the work they had done and it was building quite a fan base. If it wasn't this job, there would certainly be another coming his way soon.