Chapter 19: The 'Until'

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Jillian stared at her ceiling, replaying the moment that had transpired just hours before. There was something about it that didn't sit right. A familiar feeling churned in her stomach. It was a feeling she'd faced many times over the years. It could have been written off as paranoia. Perhaps it was. It could have also been intuition.

"I don't want to rest," Patrick said softly, "I want to talk to you."

Jillian Dempsey froze mid step.

"If I wasn't making a joke of everything..." he continued.

She felt her heart rate pick up. Part of her wanted to stand there and listen to the conversation. But the other part wanted to end the conversation immediately. Before she heard something she couldn't recover from. 

"Patrick," his name left her lips before she had even mentally committed to interrupt. She stood outside the bedroom door and knocked quickly. She heard a muffled mumble.

"Thanks," he spoke loudly. She opened the door and set his tea on the table.

"How was the test?" She leaned against the doorway.

"It was decently quick," his voice was sincere even though part of him felt like he'd just been caught.

"Good," she nodded, "Are you feeling alright?"

"Mostly good," Patrick smiled.

"Good," she returned his smile. "Well," Jill's anxiousness slipped to the surface. Her mind getting the best of her, "Enjoy your tea."

"Thanks Jill," he stood and she nervously closed the door.

Jillian wasn't naive. She had been married to Patrick long enough to know that he collected the attention of women like souvenirs. It gave him an energy, it fueled his McDreaminess. Sure, it was annoying and sometimes borderline rude, but it came with the territory of marrying an actor. Especially the leading man.

It was clear from the beginning that he was a flirt. He oozed charisma in the most endearing way. It was almost childlike. And when you were the object of his affection, it was captivating. But when you weren't... the butterflies turned to bees.

There had been a few times that attention made him sparkle differently, brighter. It usually left Jillian with an uncomfortable feeling, questioning if he was a loyal man. She knew about the train wreck that was his first marriage. He hadn't been faithful then. It also was far from an ordinary situation.

So, she usually wrote it off. It came with the territory. Flirting equaled charisma and charisma equaled likability. Likability meant he would be successful in his career. It was a formula that made sense. Until Ellen.

When Grey's Anatomy came into their lives, everything shifted. She had never seen him come alive quite like he did with Ellen. For years, he couldn't contain his smile around her. She could see his chest puff up at the mention of her name. They seemed to move in rhythm. Their eyes twinkled together on and off screen with the most chemistry Jill had ever seen. What had that one photographer said, 'More chemistry than two people naked in bed.' His description made her feel sick, but he was right.

The world thought she was his soulmate. Jill would have agreed, had the man in question not been her husband. There was a point where it was clear that Ellen knew him so intimately that Jill found herself constantly feeling jealous. Jealous of the time they spent together, jealous of the way he looked at her, jealous that he crossed the room to be next to her.

Jillian wasn't a stranger to the red carpet. Most of her career had been spent preparing clients for events just like this and she'd been married to Patrick for almost six years. She had walked a red carpet or two. But there was something different about today. The energy in the crowd when they stepped out of the limo, people screaming his name. Six months ago he was rarely recognized. They were normal people. There was a shiftiness in Patrick that was new to her. His whole body seemed tense. He had adjusted his bowtie countless times.

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