Kiss Your Crϋe Goodbye (A Kiss & Mӧtley tale)

Chapter 14: You Deserve Better

Some more time would come to pass, a month....and here we will enter June. And STILL I had my moments, the bad ones...the episodes, and still Mick was the only one that could truly calm me down. I remember feeling so confused, conflicted....and not recognizing or wanting to see that I had feelings for Mick and or was developing them. A few days after I'd moved in, I signed contracts with Mӧtley and thrust myself into the spotlight, which was overwhelming as fuck and that lead to interviews and the inevitable questions about Kiss, which made me freeze like a deer in the headlights and the rumors would abound, though I TRIED to 'keep my mouth shut', kind of deal. Mick though, his advice.... about my playing, helped....it helped a lot more than I realized, yet at the time was never enough....and about mid-June, which is where our story picks up, several things would happen or be happening: recording an album with my new band, in the process...trying to bond with Nikki and Vince, or rather I was....and Mick, well....you will see, is all I will say for now....

"Eric? Eric you, ok?" Nikki, I think.... I blink and shake my head. "You I know are overwhelmed as fuck, and I am SO sorry we've kind of thrown you into the deep end...."

I cut him off hastily, "Yeah...yeah, I am. I am.... i feel like I'm a fucking embarrassment, I don't know how to answer questions about my 'disappearance' and kiss. It HURTS, AND THEY ARE WATCHING. I'm trying to bond with you guys, I mesh well...I think."

"For the record, you're not an embarrassment. I would feel the same way were I in your shoes, I kind of have been, and you're doing amazing things with your playing. I'm not just spouting bullshit, I mean it."

"Thanks Nikki, I'm trying so hard to believe it.... where's Mick?" feeling that panic not seeing him.

"Eric, he's went out to get some drinks...coffee, I think. We've been at this a bit. He'll come back." Vince speaks up, smiling trying to reassure me and I don't know why I panicked or am.......

Mick finally comes back, and my heart is pounding, as we take a coffee break and then get back at it, having two tracks down.... including one of mine actually, I penned 'unholy' which was axed by those monsters but anyway.... night falls, and before I know it.... It's just Mick and me.

"You did great today, you're doing well.... I am so proud of you. Nikki said though, that you feel like you're an embarrassment and you're questions about kiss you get asked.... you don't know how to answer.... that they are watching, I hate to say you're right. We won't let anything happen to you, I WON'T.... i promise." I look at Mick, feeling confused...weary, wondering why I feel so strange around him.... Why I can't seem to function without him and why I feel I'm not good enough for HIM.

"Mick.... you can't promise me that.... I'm not worth that. I can't live knowing.... I don't...oh...I..." I burst into tears, Mick moves to comfort me but before he can do anything I feel myself falling forward and he DOES catch me. He feels so warm, smells like Lemons, Leather and Vodka very soothing...., "I just wanna go home!" I sob, Mick is frantically yet tenderly really checking me over for injuries, so close to me.......

"Shh.... It's ok. I'm right here. Take your time.... breathe Eric.... just...." Out of nowhere it seems to be, almost in slow motion I nervously press my lips against his, trembling...and to my shock, he responds back....tenderly, running his long fingers thru my hair and I don't deserve him....i don't.....i am scared....still so broken in feeling....i part from him and I see stunned surprise, and this starts my tears anew. "Eric...." Touching his fingers to his lips, my heart drops and I RUN.

"I am sorry Mick....so sorry." I sobbed, not thinking he heard me. Turns out he DID in fact hear me. And I run....and before long I hear running footsteps behind me, and Mick.... Mick, calling my name.

"Eric! Eric! Please...wait! I'm not mad, I could never be at you.... not at you. And I am so sorry for how I froze.... I never meant to hurt you like that. I don't want to...I..."

I stop abruptly, trying to catch my breathe as he draws closer to me....

"I'm SCARED Micky.... scared.... I'm not, I don't DESERVE YOU.... you've saved my life more than once, everyday.... you're an alien angel...you're.... they could use you to destroy me!" I shout, as soon he wraps me in his arms, and I sob into his chest. "Let me go.... just...." Mick only wraps his arms around me tighter, not hurting me.... just letting me feel him if I didn't know better.

"I am NEVER letting you go Eric.... NEVER. when I said I'd do ANYTHING to keep you safe I mean that, they can give me their worst.... I would sacrifice anything for you! And I know you're scared. You're confused about a lot, and Eric you're still healing in a lot of ways. I'll never give up on you Eric, never.... Talk to me, I can help you figure things out. I'll wait as long as it takes, a lifetime. You're worth everything to me, for the first time in my life...it's YOU." Mick is in tears at this point.

"Micky...." I whisper, mind whirling.... overcome with emotion.

"Look at me Eric.... please...." gentle & firm, so very Mick. I feel my face cradled in his large, callused hands. "I want you to do something for me...." I feel him grab one of my hands and place it on his chest, I can feel my self tremble, "Shh, its ok...."

"W-What do you want me to do...." Uncertain.

"FEEL.... what you do to me, the sound of your voice alone. Your heart knows deep down...."

I close my eyes, feeling his heart.... murmuring.... i feel it beat and beat...jumping it seems beneath my fingertips.... his heart is something I've NEVER felt before...never.

"I've never felt anything like this before..." I open my eyes whispering tearfully. "C-Can I ask you something Micky?"

"Anything Eric...." Lowly.

"W-Why did you.... freeze when I kissed you? I...." Mick gently cuts me off with a finger to my lips and looks guilty, at least a little. "I am sorry if I made you think...I didn't want it. I did and I do very much.... I want you to feel comfortable Eric. That being said.... I froze because...I've never felt anything like it, I mean that...anyone like YOU I mean. I've dreamed about it, but they don't compare."

"C-Can I kiss you again? I want.... i mean...."

"I would love that..." Mick breaths these words against my lips and then slowly, I press my lips to his once more, his against mine working in sync, in harmony.... Mick playing my mouth like a slow ballad, me loving the feel.... feeling safe. We part for breath, "Let's go home, I'll fix dinner....and you can help if you want....and I was wondering, if you could give ME a baking lesson?" A slight blush dusts Mick's cheeks highlighting his eyes.

"I would love that." I echoed his words of only moments ago.

I remember every moment of the day of our first kiss, the first time I kissed him.... Mick was true to his word; he still is to this day. He waited until my heart and mind were one, until my heart was fully healed from the abuse, I'd endured.... course, by the time I was ready to say 'I love you'.... Gene and Paul would strike so to speak.... they would come for me, come for Mick...it hasn't happened yet here in our story, but it is coming....i warn you.... but before then, the relative calm before the storm or so to speak.

A/N: Panic, a first kiss and those sparks of love. Eric is still healing....and Mick will do whatever it takes, together he and Eric will learn about love. Mick will help heal Eric and too there is a taste of things to come.... Next chapter pretty much will pick up where this one leaves off and is from Mick's POV.