Broke me like your Promise

Thirteen

Today has been about the least productive day I think I've ever had. I hardly got any work done before Baden arrived and since then, I've done possibly even less work as I turned his words over and over in my head.

I also can't help but still feel like an idiot for the way I threw myself at Jack. He practically ran out the door and while he apologised, I don't have a clue where things stand with us moving forward. I don't know where he wants to go from here or what his plans are.

He told me to come to him with questions, and boy do I have some big ones. That and I have the need to apologise again for how last night ended. That's why I'm driving down a street I haven't ventured near for four years and pulling into a driveway that used to be so familiar.

I didn't call ahead at all, so I'm pleasantly surprised when the front door opens at the same time I step out of my car. Jack leans against the porch railing, my favourite crooked smile adorning his face and brown eyes bright. The plain white t-shirt he is wearing moulds to the muscles I failed to even notice the last few times I saw him.

Are there more of those?

I'd kinda like to find out just how much his body has changed since we were eighteen. Did I mention the smile though? He's smiling like that for me.

"I didn't expect to see you so soon, not that I'm upset by that at all," he says standing up and welcoming me up the porch stairs and oh lord have mercy on me, grey sweatpants and the white tee. This man clearly works in Hollywood because he is a walking cliche.

I'm here for it.

"You said to come to you with questions and I have questions. Can I come inside? Is anyone home?"

"It's just me. Hannah's working at the theatre and my mom is doing groceries then said something about stopping in to see my aunt. Dad's on the late shift."

We walk through the house and it's comforting to see that nothing has really changed here. Only the people who live in it. Jack leads me down to the basement and I follow as though the muscle memory has kicked in. The room was converted in our senior year to become his bedroom and we definitely spent a lot of time down here. Again, unlike the man in front of me, it also hasn't changed a single bit down here.

"I bet they are enjoying having you home," I feel the need to make small talk and ease us into anything heavy. I know he is watching me carefully, so I take a look around and see Jack still has some old photos from high school on his wall, not all of them though. I scan my eyes over the images, seeing the memories flash before me like an old film as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed.

"My favourite photos from that wall are in Malibu, I couldn't leave without them. And yeah, mom especially loves having me home. They visited me when they could, but it's different me coming back here. Even if she knows she isn't the reason I'm here."

My head snaps around to face him, my body following quickly. Jack is already looking directly at me and the look in his eyes confirms my silent question, I'm the reason?

"Come and sit Annie, I won't bite. I won't even touch you," he pats the bed, beckoning me over. "Unless you want me to," he winks and my cheeks flush red.

I sit beside him, but make a point to keep a respectable distance. "I'm sorry again for throwing myself at you. That wasn't my intention at all and I don't even know what came over me. I really don't even do that."

He looks thoughtful as he mulls over my apology. He is doing that thing again where he thinks about what he wants to say before he says it.

"Have you had many opportunities to do that since I've been gone? You know... with other guys?" Jack winces as he says the words.

"Are you asking me how many people I've been with since you left?"

Jack nods, though he looks like he wants to know the answer but also really doesn't want to know. I get it, I hate to think about him with other women too. Only he didn't have to see photos of me with anyone else splashed across magazine covers.

"Will you tell me if I tell you?"

"I kind of regret asking, I don't want to picture you with anyone else. But since I did, it's only fair," he looks at his hands, wringing his fingers together. "I've had two relationships, one fake with Kristy and we only kissed and one real with Alexa. I slept with a few women between that, probably more than five less than ten. Not as many as I could have. Most of the time it never felt right at all. I quickly worked out that I don't like one night stands."

It hurts my heart a little to hear it, even though I knew he would have been with other people. I need to hold up my end of the bargain though. A part of me also wants to make him feel like I do hearing about him with someone else. Tit for tat.

"I haven't been in any relationships. I tried dating but never lasted more than the first date. I slept with three guys, all one and done, all met at parties Sav dragged me to, all completely meaningless ways to try and get it out of my system. To get you out of my system."

I watch Jack's adams Apple bob up and down as he processes what I just told him.

"Did it work?" He croaks out. "Did you get me out of your system?"

I shake my head, and whisper no. I watch Jack's eyes roam around my face, looking for a shred of dishonesty, then up and down my body and finally around the room before landing back on me with a long exhale of his breath. I can't for the life of me figure out where his head is at.

"What are you thinking about Jack? I used to read you so well, but I can't tell right now," my voice is soft, because anything louder feels like it might break whatever is happening right now.

"I'm thinking," he pauses and takes another deep breath. "I'm thinking I really don't want to overstep, but also I really want to kiss you," he twists his body to be facing me and continues with sincerity. "I don't want you to be getting me out of your system at all. In fact, just the opposite because I'd be pretty fucking satisfied if I was the only man you ever thought about in that way for the rest of your life."

Oh wow. That's... possessive. I'm not even mad about it.

The way Jack's eyes have darkened combined with the way my body feels hot and tingly and needing to be touched. I don't want to fight anything the way I feel. I came here for answers to my questions, but I guess we can talk later instead right?

I'm not usually reckless. I don't many impulsive decisions. But Jack brings out this other side of me and right now I'm tired of trying to push away feelings and any sense of logic.

"Kiss me then."