TLC stories/oneshots/quotes

have this snack so i can be in peace

hi hey it's me, kozzy or whatever you can me lol, but omg i am so sorry for the lack of updates :( schools been kicking my ass like i called their mom fat or smth... but on the bright side i'm almost done with school!! about a month left. hope y'all have been having having good grades all year!!! the title is like cause i feel bad lmao. but i am trying to get back in the rhythm!! have some funnies while i do work hehe
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Ryan : Looking left cause you don't treat me right
Ronan: Looking right because you left
Scott: Looking up cause you let me down
Scuba : Looking down cause you fucked up
Jack: What is wrong with you

Ryan : Hey, let's mess with Scott, guys!
Jack: Hey, Scott, your momma so fat-
Scott: My mom committed multiple war crimes and is now locked in solitary confinement in a Bolivian prison.
Scuba : Well, uh- your dad-
Scott: My father left when I was two to be captured and consequentially sacrificed by a group of feral ferrets.
Jack: The fuck-
Ronan: Well then...
Ryan : Stop, Ronan!
Ronan: Your grandparents so-
Scott: My grandmother floated into the sky like a balloon with too much helium when my grandfather spontaneously combusted.
Scott: You cannot best me, mortals

Ryan : What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Ronan: 'Prettiest Smile'
Scuba : 'Nicest Personality'
Scott: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Jack: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Ryan : Who the fuck broke the toaster?
Scott: It was Ronan.
Scuba : It was Ronan.
Jack: Ronan broke it.
Ronan:
Ronan: ...YOU PROMISED-

Ryan : Time for plan G.
Jack: Don't you mean plan B?
Ryan : No, we tried plan B a long time ago.I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Scott: What about plan D?
Ryan : Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Ronan: What about plan E?
Ryan : I'm hoping not to use it.Scuba dies in plan E.
Scuba : I like plan E.

Ryan : Okay! Let's play Kiss Marry Kill!
Ryan : First who would you kill?
*Jack points at Ronan*
*Scott points at Ronan*
*Scuba points at Ronan*
Ronan: * shrugs * I would kill me too.

Ryan : We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Scott will and will not eat.
Ronan: Grass? Yes!
Ryan : Moss? Yes!!
Ronan: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
Ryan : Shoelaces? Strange but true!
Ronan: Worms? Sometimes!
Ryan : Rocks? Usually nah.
Ronan: Twigs? Usually!
Ryan : Jack's cooking? Inconclusive!
Scuba : How did you... test this?
Ryan : You just hand them stuff and say "eat this" and if they eat it, they eat it.
Scuba : ...I don't know how to feel about this.
Jack: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

Ryan : What makes you all smile?
Ronan: Friends and Family.
Scuba : Snacks.
Scott: Victory and success.
Jack: Face muscles.

Ryan : How would you like your pancakes?
Jack: Plain.
Scuba : With sprinkles!
Ronan: Chocolate chips.
Scott: Potatoes.
* Jack, Scuba , and Ronan look at Scott*
Scott: What? They're good.

Ryan : How do you connect with a fictional character?
Scott: What?
Kelly: What?
Sharky: What?
Carly: * pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked

Raven: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside
Leo:
Leo: Raven, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...
Raven: * Sips coffee from bowl*

Leo: Watcha got there..?
Raven: *petting a ostrich* A smoothie.

Sharky, driving Kelly and Carly: So how was your day?
Kelly: We almost got surprise adopted!
Sharky: What?
Carly: We almost got kidnapped.
Sharky: Oh, okay.
Sharky: * slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!