Fanaa

1.19 "I don't have time Abhi"

Birla hospital, Udaipur

Abhimanyu watched as Akshara slowly woke up from her sleep, she had fallen asleep on the chair during her chemo session and Abhimanyu hadn't the heart to wake her up.

Akshara's face scrunched up in pain, her entire body was aching, "A-Abhi, I don't feel so good."

Abhimanyu quickly rushed to her side, before gathering her in his arms, he knew she would be in terrible pain, her treatment had gotten even more aggressive and it had started taking a toll on her body.

"I know baby, I know, come on let's get you home." Abhimanyu whispered in her ears, before carrying her to the car and heading to the Singhania house.

He carried her in his arms upto her room, before tucking her in bed, Akshara had dosed off again during the car ride. He gently brushed the strands off her face, she had lost even more weight, her cheekbones even more gaunt casting shadows underneath.
He felt his chest squeeze, making it harder to breathe- the possibility of loosing her looming over him, stealing the breath in his lungs. He wouldn't be able to live in a world without Akshara Goenka, he wouldn't survive it. 

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Akshara knocked on Abhimanyu's door, Aaira had woken up from her nap and had started asking for her father, "Abhimanyu, Aaira is look-" only to stumble back seeing the absolute mess his room was in.

Papers were strewn all across the room, and Abhimanyu was in the middle of it submerged in a set of files, upon closer inspection she noticed it was her reports.

Akshara let out a heavy sigh, "You need to stop."

Abhimanyu looked up from the files in shock, as if he hadn't realised she had entered his room.

Akshara continued, " You need to stop, you don't think I haven't realised how much you're obsessing over this ?" She knew Abhimanyu had tried to hide it from her, but he had spent the last few weeks contacting doctors from all parts of the country, pouring over new clinical trials - he had become obsessed trying to find a solution.

"You don't think I don't know that you have spent every night sitting outside my room? You need to let it go, move on Abhimanyu."

"I-I can't" Abhimanyu whispered hoarsely.
His eyes screaming with fear, the fear of loosing her. He looked like a man who appeared at his wit's end, desperately searching for tiny shred of hope.

"You have to let this guilt go, and if it's my forgiveness that you need it for it, then fine Abhimanyu I forgive you, but let this go, move on." Akshara said sternly, trying to keep her emotions at bay.

"Guilt ? You think I'm doing all this because I feel guilty ? Abhimanyu darkly chuckled, his eyes red with tears. "Yes, I have spent the last weeks trying and searching and praying for atleast some tiny thread of hope, but these are not the actions of a man who is guilty Akshu, these are the actions of a man who is trying to find a way to save the woman he loves."
He took a few steps towards her, before cupping her cheeks, "What I did to you, there's no justification for it, no amount of apology is enough, and I don't deserve you, God knows I don't, but I can't let it go, I can't move on - I have been yours body, mind and soul since the day I heard your voice."

"S-stop it" Akshara choked out, pushing his arms away. "You can't do this to me, not now, you can't tell me you love me after everything you did, not after I have made peace with the fact that I'm dy-dying."

She could feel the pain aching through her chest, all her emotions were bubbling up, years of heartbreak and love that she had suppressed. She shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself, trying to crawl into herself, why did it hurt so much ? Why did he have to say that he loved her now?

Abhimanyu tugged at her arms again, holding her waist, her senses being engulfed by his scent, God she had missed his scent so much, the scent of musk and sandalwood. She had missed him so much, his love, his presence, how safe he used to make her feel, how she used to feel like she was floating on his love. These past 6 years had been so lonely, her bed had been so empty, she had missed his touch, his laugh.

Abhimanyu's love had always been demanding, relentless, possessive - he always needed to be touching her, always needed her in his sights, he took of her needs and wants like one would take care of a child, but his touch also drove her crazy, tormented her to the brinks of pleasure. His love had made her question everything, had forced her to strip to her bare bones, he had owned her raw bleeding heart. His love consumed her, demanded that she give every bit of herself to him, to the point where she hadn't known where she ended and he began.

"You're not dying, you're not leaving me and Aaira, I ne-need to make it up to you both, I want to be the man who deserves my two girls, Akshara, you are not dying on me." Abhimanyu fiercely growled, his hands holding the nape of her neck, his eyes blazing.

Akshara felt a bolt of anger, and took a step closer, their noses touching each other, "You think I wanted this? You think I wanted any of it? I wanted children, yes, but I wanted them with you, I was never supposed to have gone at it alone, I wanted to grow old with you, wake up every morning beside you. You think I want to leave my daughter without a mother? I-I want to see her grow up, I want to see her become her own person." Akshara's eyes filled with tears, "I waited, I waited months for you, years for you. To come back, to say that you loved me. I needed you, God I was so in love with you, I gave you my everything, and I should hate you, but I-I can't and I thought we'll have time, but we don't. I-I don't have time Abhi" Akshara cried out, dropping to her knees.

Abhimanyu gathered her in his arms, and rocked her back and forth, whispering sweet nothings in her ears,letting her release years of crushed hopes and heartbreak.

A/N -
So Abhi and Akshu got to air out their emotions, despite everything that happenes, I just wanted to show that the love is still there.

Also ig only like a chapter left and then the epilogue, wow writing this book had been completely a new experience for me, so a big thank you to everyone who voted and commented, this book just hit 1K votes and that felt huge, so lots of love 💜

Do comment, would love to read to read ur thoughts about the chapter <3

Lots of love