HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, OLD MAN??!?!?!

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Getting to know three ghosts wasn't as hard as one might think.

Because ghosts are around literally 24/7 if you're at home.

The hardest part had to be hiding the fact that Wilbur and Techno could suddenly see these three specters from their father.

Holding back laughter as three ghosts made jokes and messed with Phil was surprisingly difficult for both Wilbur and Techno. But the company was very enjoyable.

The troublemaking spirits made the home energetic and exciting, and as the days passed, the family found that they were surprisingly enjoying the place.

They got a few concerned visits from surrounding neighbors, who were always glancing around the place like it was going to blow up at any second while they asked how they liked the neighborhood and if their place was as freaky as the rumors said.

Techno found it terribly amusing to say that absolutely nothing supernatural exists while one of the kids would fling something across the room or make the lights flicker in an usual way.

It made for some horrified faces as the neighbor would stumble away, most likely thinking that Techno was a little insane for denying such obvious evidence.

The boys were endlessly sweet as well, though they'd never admit it.

Every time Phil would announce that they needed to clean after work, they'd come home to a house that didn't need dusting or sweeping, not a speck of dirt to be found anywhere. The windows were even spotless, aside from a few choice handprints on the inside to unnerve Phil if he were to see them.

Of course the ghosts weren't perfect angels all the time. They'd constantly steal pencils and pens and books to place them in ridiculous spots around the house.

Techno once found a book of his in the cold fireplace, to which he almost cried at the idea of it accidentally being burnt to ash if he didn't find it before the colder weather settled in. Tommy personally apologized for that one, and vowed to never hide things in there again.

Aside from that incident, there were random things placed in the fridge or freezer (Wilbur once found his pillow in the freezer), pens hidden with the silverware, singular socks stolen from pairs and hidden throughout the house, blankets half taken off of beds.

Then of course, since their haunting was done by teenagers, there was always an endless amount of... phallic art.

They were often drawn on the windows or mirrors of the house, always the same simple design. If Phil was the one that happened to find one of them, he'd lightly scold either Techno or Wilbur, but only if he found it on the front window, not wanting the neighbors to see something like that displayed. But the twins and the ghosts all knew that Phil found it very amusing, always having to smother a snort of laughter when he'd find a particularly unexpected one.

Phil was none the wiser to the ghosts that haunted them, always blaming the odd happenings to the twins pulling pranks or just a coincidence that he didn't notice before.

Day by day, the weird little house that was cursed to shoo out family after family, seemed to slowly feel like home.

Thanks to the three little shitheads who resided within for the past twenty years.

--------

That's it.

Phil is going to commit a murder against his own two sons.

The man groaned, rubbing a hand down his face as he pushed himself away from his desk due to the loud clattering happening downstairs.

"I swear to Prime..." Phil muttered, slipping out of the office and into the inky darkness of the hallway.

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