under pressure || kavetham ||

six - WTF?

summary; after figuring out ways to get rid of nilou and properly confess to kaveh, haitham finds the PERFECT way to actually confess— it was difficult, but it might just work!

tw - mentions of self harm, unhealthy obsession/love leading to physical harm

,,and ill keep leading you on, if you keep leading me into your room."

haithams point of view -

shit.

i have just lost the only person ive ever loved, and it was my fault. no, its not my fault. its this shitty girls fault and her cringy wide smile.

"get the hell off of me!" i push nilou off, her falling on the floor to her knees. i dont care if i hurt her, I've hurt someone else, and that has made all the difference.

"whyyyy? i thought we were... y'know?" she spoke with a pout, giving me puppy dog eyes. i couldnt give a shit if she spoke with a pout or not.

maybe i have to calm down. I've never been this mad before, is this how kaveh feels when he yells at me?

"i wont repeat myself. please make your way back home."

"you're not going to see me out? what a bad boyfriend.."

"i am NOT anyones boyfriend. and I'm certainly not yours."

"so rude! fine, then! ill go if you want me to."

"thank you."

"... just after this!"

before i could even flinch, i feel lips pounce over mine passionately. quickly pushing her off, she finally leaves with a glare.

i wish i could see kaveh. i wish i could tell him its alright. wishing wont do anything, though. maybe if i knock on his door?

i clear my throat, knocking softly.

"kaveh?" my voice was full of worry, i dont think ive ever said his name like that before.

"what." he sounded irritated. no— more like he didnt want to see me because he was crying. this is a cycle, of course. this will never change.

"maybe we can talk, no? please let me in." my hand was on the doorknob, waiting for kaveh to say yes.

"what is there to talk about? everything is in plain sight."

"at least let me in? i just want to see you."

"first, you want to see nilou. now, you want to see me? which one is it, alhaitham?!"

i freeze. he was right. theres this one specific word that accurately describes my personality right now..

im a two-timer. though its not like we're dating, i wish we were. the words 'i love you' arent easy to slip out of my mouth.

"i..." a large, heavy audible sigh came from my side of the door. "i... guess i could say i—" i cleared my throat, slowly panicking. it wad hard to say this, really.

"i guess i could say that i love you."

no response.

kavehs point of view -

"i guess i could say that i love you."

this isnt surprising, he told me last night. whats surprising is how he could love me of all people. im nothing special. just a student working in architectural design.

i cant say i dont love him as well. if i ignore him, he'd lose feelings. thats how it works, right? i just need some rest.. after all, these wounds wont heal themselves.