Star Side

Chapter 44

Stellar date (Earth Time): 07-26-2914

Levi didn't die. He got a nasty bruise across his back, a mild concussion, and a fractured tibia, all of which could be fixed in a few days with the technology we had on board and some rest.

I didn't even wait for him to wake up. The moment I got the diagnosis from Naomi I ran for the observatory. I even changed the passcode on my door so it was doubly locked. No overriding here, the observatory was my domain. With nothing else to do in my self-imposed isolation, I even managed to figure out the programming that would summon up a cafeteria bot, something none of us had ever bothered to do because it was ten times easier just to go get the food ourselves than to navigate the clunky A.I. through the halls and stairs, and that's without spilling the food. For some reason they were never able to program the idea of keeping food from mixing in a robot. Not a problem with tin foil wrapped burritos.

So I was a coward and a fan of Mexican food. Shoot me. My friend almost got killed by an alien that then tried to rape me, I think that's plenty excuse to hide. I came out to space to avoid people, not get a whole new set of drama.

It didn't bring me the peace I so desired, though. Anxiety clung to my back like a sticky monkey. I'd explained to Naomi about Gilrack's instinct-seizures before running here, even hinting about Gilrack's confession—because what was my shame in the face of someone's life? But that didn't mean she would listen. One of Gilrack's kind had killed her husband and then mauled her brother. Who the hell would stay reasonable after that?

Part of me wanted to bring Gilrack with me into my fish bowl and lock him in for safety, but before I could even move to the door my limbs would seize up and my head fill with the memory of how big and monstrous he'd been over me, how dark his eyes, the heat of his thoughts, the press of his member against my thighs. Then my bitten shoulder would give a low throb.

He had said a bite was a sign of affection. 'Big like' and 'friend' had been his words, but I suspected those had been mistranslations on my part. It was more than obvious what it meant now, and a ghost of uncertainty haunted in the attic of my mind where I refused to acknowledge it, even as my hips ached and I longed for steak.

My usual pastimes ran out sooner than they usually would have. I couldn't focus on my novels, my paintings grew strained, every star and nebula looked the same through the glass. I found myself fidgeting with my messy futon, fixing it up over and over again and daydreaming of pillows and soft blankets I'd seen back on Earth. At some point I even though of attacking the walls and floors with paint, only to shake myself loose with the realization that I was slowly going crazy, but it seemed less frightening than whatever mess I'd left outside.

For all my buffness I loved to brag about, for how big and manly and strong my body, I was a flighty as a sheltered school girl, and it ashamed me.

When Naomi finally let Levi leave the bed he came to my door, probably because I'd turned off my com.

The door speaker gave a tiny pop before his voice broke the almost imperceptible hum of the observatory.

"How long are you planning on hiding in there?"

I rubbed my face like a hamster and waddled over to the door com.

I pushed the invoice button. "Forever."

There was a brief pause before Levi's voice popped up from the speaker as though he were right there, making me jump. Just how close was he talking into it?

"It's not your fault and I'm not going to kill the alien, though I will shoot him a few times once he comes out. We're sending him down to Vetas once we do."