Star Side

Chapter 51

Gilrack came back to consciousness wrapped in the cold numbness of his mate's mindwaves.

He jerked up before registering her knelt, bloodied form and instantly regretted it as black dots spotted across his vision. His leg, shoulder, and neck radiated pain. Despite that, he managed to roll onto his front and curl himself around his still mate. He touched her lightly, afraid of making her mental state worse, but he had to check for wounds, even though he suspected most of the blood staining her soft clothes was his.

Just as he'd lifted her top to check her back, he heard the door hiss open. He tensed an peered beneath his wing.

At the sight of the chieftess divine being, he gave a sigh of relief, only to recant that when her sour aggression reached him. He knew the divine beings expressed emotions mostly in their face since they lacked the ability to emit mind waves to each other. But despite Naomi's mindwaves hitting him like a rain of hard little daggers, her face was very still with no expression he could tell.

"Get away from her and back to your eggs," she said.

He hesitated only for a moment, struck between the conflicting instincts of protecting Jo and his young. But then his reasoning returned, reminding him Naomi would only help Jo and that with Jo in this state, there was no saying how long the eggs had been untended to. Naomi's aggression, after all, was aimed at him, not Jo.

He slunked off and buried himself face first into Jo's nest. Thankfully, it was still warm, as were their eggs.

As he gathered the blue beauties to him, he paused a hand over the smallest egg, than pulled that to him as well. Best not to stress Jo out more by insisting it was empty. Not more than he already had.

Because, once again, he had made a major mishap.

He knew he shouldn't have attacked the dead-eyed male. He had only wanted to check on Jo and meant no harm. But Gilrack's instincts were already raw and battered before having young, and even the most secure and stable of males bristled at anyone coming near so soon after birth.

When Gilrack had learned of the divine beings dulled instincts, he had thought it a pity, even a detriment to their survival. He had wondered how they knew what to do and how they bonded without the aid of instincts. But now, memories of Jo throwing herself forward to stop him from more likely killing himself to kill Levi made him realize that, maybe, it was having strong instincts that were actually the detriment to survival. In his kind instincts became uncontrollable during emergency situations, or if they had been neglected for far too long. But wasn't it in time of emergencies and neglect that one needed their faculties around them the most? Wasn't it a clear mind and cool thinking that would more likely get one out of a tricky situation than animalistic instincts? After all, they weren't animals, both his kind and the divine beings. Wasn't it their reason that separated them?

He stroked an egg with a thumb, hoping, tentatively, that his young would inherit their mother's weak instincts. Perhaps they would be the ones to turn a corner for his kind. Perhaps they would be the ones to lead them out from the earth and into the skies.

Gilrack kept his ears peeled for any news of his mate's state, but Naomi spoke little, and his poor Jo not at all. He wished he could have smelled more beneath the blood coating her clothes. Levi would die if he had done anything to her.

When Naomi's shod feet tapped his way, he held his breath.

Judgment came.

"Gilrack, you need to take your eggs and go to the escape pod. I'm sorry, but you need to go back home."

His heart stuttered. His battered instincts reared up with a wail before he forcibly smothered it down with gritted teeth and internal fury.

His mate made the smallest of squeaks. But it was enough for him to pull up and start for her—

Only to be stopped by the tiny chieftess and her thorny thoughts.

"No."

His instincts snarled, demanding he lash out, tear the tiny divine being, claim himself as the ultimate power, but he held it back with more fury and teeth gritting. He told them their mate would never forgive him if he killed Naomi. Hell, she'd never forgive him if he killed the useless dead-eyed male. She might not even forgive him now.

So, with trembling limbs, he tugged out a blanket from the nest and got to wrapping up his eggs. Just before tying them away, however, he hesitated, then pulled out the smallest egg and held it out towards Naomi.

"Empty," he said. "Too small."

Naomi raised a single white eyebrow, but took the egg with surprisingly gentle hands.

For a moment, Gilrack wondered about a time when the old female had been in her own prime and how she would have handled her own young. The divine beings hands were so perfect for tiny, fragile young, with their blunt, thin nails and silky soft hands. Maybe it was because of those hands that his sickly instincts didn't so much as squawk at him giving away one of his eggs, even empty as it was.

Then he held his precious bundle to his chest, wrapped his wings around his torso to keep in even more heat, and started his way down the familiar path to the cramped escape pod where he had started this journey.

When the door to the observatory closed behind him, both his heart and his instincts flailed from the separation from Jo. He doubled over from the pain.

But, steadily, and with much determination, he managed to peel his feet up and make his way down the stairs. Even besides his instincts demanding he turn back, the black dots across his vision and the weakness in his limbs made the going difficult. Yet he knew giving in would only make this situation that much worse.

It was his fault, after all. If he had just been more patient. If he had just not been so eager to mate at the first sign of permission. If he had only taken longer to learn their language and ways...

He hugged his eggs tighter, not bothering to hide the whine that came from deep in his chest. Such beautiful, beautiful eggs, and he had ruined their future.

When he reached the life pod, he ignored the cramped space and curled up on the floor, allowing himself to finally weep.

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I have a website. Tslowe.com. If you care about that sort of thing. I gotta blog and poetry and an about me page, for those nosey folk who like knowing about the author. Personally, I only care about the author if I want to see if a guess of mine is right, like whether thy are female or male or have a huge dog with three legs. 

Oh yeah, current funny author's note, um....I should probably go make sure my three-year-old isn't drinking bathroom water from his brother's test tube.