𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐬 |𝐘𝐞𝐣𝐢𝐬𝐮

8: Blood Falling Out From Your Nose

The night was spent late and they slept through the morning, but Blondie made sure to set an alarm for sunrise every morning so she couldn't mess up her bucket list. She did it from the bedroom balcony this time, she knew that doing it outside, in the fresh air helped somehow. She felt closer to the sunrise, and she felt like she could understand it better to draw it well.

The apartment had built-in speakers on the ceiling and on the surround patio, so she played peaceful music from Alexa as she drew. Ironically, as she drew the sunrise, Sunsetz by Cigarettes After Sex played quietly, loud enough to be heard, but not loud enough to disrupt.

Mentally, Blondie healed, with every morning she drew the sky, she found comfort in it. Even after she's gone, these sunrises will occur. They'll still be beautiful without her. The world will still spin, even after her sins and her atonements.

She's just a human, on a floating rock, in the middle of other floating rocks, being warmed up by a giant ball of fire millions of miles away. The universe is bigger than she is, she doesn't matter as much as she used to think she did. And to her, that's even better.

Every mistake she makes, every sin she commits, everything she could do for people, she'll still die like everyone does. No matter what she does, it won't be big enough to impact the universe. And because of that, she is free. If what she does changes nothing outside this planet, then she is free to do whatever.

She felt like she spoke to the sun as it rose every morning. Today the sky was a vibrant purple and pink, like cotton candy. She wanted to reach out, grab the cirrocumulus clouds and consume it. Unbothered, the clouds sat, moving to a place unknown.

Blondie chuckled to herself, suddenly remembering herself as a child. Living in Jeonju, South Korea, she used to think the world revolved around her because she couldn't see anything from any other perspective. She never got big headed because of it, she just thought that was how things were. She didn't think she was special either.

Thinking about life has always fascinated her, you can waste it or use the hell out of it. It can be wasted and not be your fault, and it can work in your favor effortlessly. The fact that everyone is born with different privileges, wishing they had what others do, thinking that there are people out there with perfect lives.

But in reality, everyone is sad.

Everyone is stuck scrambling to compare themselves and wish they had what others do, so much so, they forget to show gratitude for the things they have that others envy them for. A horrible cycle that will never end. The cycle is very much human.

And Blondie knows it's a cry for help. The human race should have never existed, we evolved from something, made the world into what it is, and now there's a handful of people with all the money, families are starving on the streets, the planet is dying, their constantly going to war, everyone is depressed, suicidal teenagers are turning into suicidal children as well. The whole human race is a cry for help. We destroy ourselves and are too cowardly to change, so we bring everything, even our own planet down with us.

Yet, with all that we are doing to destroy this floating ball, the sun still shines. Mother nature still provides. The moon still drags the ocean water along with it. The universe goes on, all while the planet is self-destructing.

And even that made Blondie feel better. Everyone is sad. Everyone is dying. Everyone is struggling. The world is ending, and she and Lia will die on their own terms, not with everyone else.

She saw everyone as fools, but if they want to continue working until the end of the world instead of enjoying it, they can. It's their life and they are free to do whatever. They will all claim they are chained to a routine, but the chains are invisible, the lock dangling open waiting to be taken off.