𝐔𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐚 [𝟏𝟖+]

8 - engaged

tw : self-harm talk

•Giana•

Today is the engagement party, and I still don't have a plan on how the hell I'm going to leave.

"Giana!" Mama's Spanish accent peaks through as she yells at me.

"Yes." I mumble, coldly.

"Start getting ready. Rápido!" She snaps. (Fast!)

I don't respond.

The party is at 7:00 p.m, and it is 6:20 p.m. I don't care anymore, I don't want to do this.

I'm at the location of the party, in a room with all of my supplies to get ready. I've been here since the past two hours. My mother has been coming in and out, telling me to get the fuck up, but I physically can't.

And suddenly I have an urge—for something I haven't had in years.

I have the need to harm myself, for being stupid enough to come here.

Fuck.

I can't contain myself and start opening all of the drawers around me, trying to find anything sharp.

Then I found it. A nail filer.

It could work, right?

My back slides down the door, until I'm completely on the ground. I don't want to, I really don't. But there's nothing else here to distract me from all these emotions I'm feeling, except the blade.

I bring the blade down to my wirst, but then I stop.

No, I can't do this.

Celine would be so disappointed in me.

I call Celine and she immediately picks up.

"Cel?" I whisper.

"Gia? You okay babes?"

"Cel, I want to do it again." I murmur.

Celine takes a deep breath and I know she realizes what I mean.

"Giana. Deep breaths okay?" She says slowly. "Think about all those years we spent. The marks have finally faded."

"I know, I know." I tremble. "I just— I don't want to stay here, I want to go back, to you. We were both so happy, and now—"

"You didn't get out?" She interrupts, her voice frantic and tense.

Fuck, I didn't tell her.

"No." I felt the defeat run through me. "After the first time, papa has been keeping an eye on me. He took my car keys away."

"Shit, Gia. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault." I try.

"But—"

I hear a knock and immediately silence Celine.

"Fuck— I'll call you later." I whisper and quickly hang up.

I take a deep breath for what's about to come. I know it's mama, she has been on me this whole time.

"I'm not fucking getting ready, you can come in here and hit—" I stop when I see who walks in.

Nicolas.

He's in a black suit, with a white button up underneath. The top few buttons undone, revealing his tattooed chest. His hair is styled back neatly, like usual.

He's so perfect, it hurts.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." He mocks and I glare at him.

I don't reply, I'm too tired mentally.