Oh, how the seasons change (Hyunlix)

Winter Falls (Got Me Thinking Nonsense)

In the month after that night, Hyunjin and Felix kept going back and forth between putting distance between each other and barely speaking, then ending up on the verge of crossing forbidden boundaries only to go back to stage one all over again.

At that point, Felix was sure that he'd never had to battle the desires of his body and mind as much as he was doing so now. He tried to ignore it as much as possible, drowning himself in coursework instead, to the point that he went down with a bad fever just as one of his most important exams was coming up.

In the end, he went to the exam while still sporting said fever, regardless of how much Hyunjin had tried to convince him not to leave his bed. So it shouldn't have been surprising when his brain couldn't function at all and three days later, he found out that he'd failed the exam.

And maybe it had been the last straw for Felix.

When he'd been ill, Hyunjin had been such a sweetheart, bringing hot soups to his bed, bringing a bag full of medicine just half an hour after Felix had texted him that maybe Hyunjin should sleep elsewhere because he could catch the virus.

Not only had he refused to go anywhere else, he made sure to be by Felix's side the entire time. In his weakened state, Felix didn't have the power to battle his need to have Hyunjin close. So he let his roommate gently massage his scalp, he let him spoon-feed him even if the blonde's hands were functioning perfectly well. Let him set alarms for the hours when Felix was meant to take his meds, let himself be taken care of and forgot that he was supposed to avoid falling in love.

So when he received the results from his exam, all worries that had been building for months exploded - regarding his feelings, Hyunjin and all the work he had for university, and he broke down completely.

And naturally, it was his roommate that was there to catch him.

It was the middle of the night - Hyunjin had fallen asleep hours ago, while Felix stared at the ceiling and thought of all ways he's fucking up his life. He didn't know when the tears had started falling but by the time he realised it, he could barely breathe as his choked up cries had started turning into louder and louder ones.

He had no idea at what point Hyunjin had woken up, but eventually, he felt someone sliding under Felix's blankets and whispering his name softly, asking him, borderline begging him to breathe, in the most heartbroken but soft voice possible.

Felix felt Hyunjin's pulse when the other boy brought his finger to his neck and began calming down only when urged to focus on the rhythms of his roommate's heart that brought him down to earth, slowly but surely.

'I'm sorry', was the first coherent thing Felix told him when he had calmed down enough to speak properly.

'Why would you be sorry?', Hyunjin spoke in a murmur, his voice nearly breaking at the end as if he was even more affected than Felix by what had just happened.

The blonde breathed out a long sigh before shrugging and turning to lay on his side. He faced the other man and moved closer to Hyunjin until their legs were tangled together and Felix's fists curled over the fabric of his roommate's t-shirt.

'Do you want to talk about it?', Hyunjin asked in a small voice as his hand found the back of Felix's head and began slowly running up and down.

The blonde pondered over it for a while, but Hyunjin patiently waited the entire time. Not once did he stop his motions over Felix's head and even untangled some knots on his hair in such a gentle way that it nearly made the shorter one cry all over again.

'I just...don't want to be a disappointment.', Felix whispered in the end and almost wondered whether Hyunjin had even forgotten what he'd asked but the other immediately took hold of one of Felix's hands with his free one.