Love How I Love You | WMBM | BXB BL

Intro

As he touched me, Percy's fingers lightly brushed against my stomach. The slight tingle of electricity caused the butterflies to wake up and flutter. He gazes into my eyes. I thought his baby blue eyes were prettier than my muddy brown eyes. But Percy liked them. Said he loved seeing his reflection in them. It was like a glimpse of how I saw him. 

Right now, these were little stolen moments between us. I wasn't sure if he savored them like I did. 

"You're beautiful," Percy said, leaning down and kissed me. "So beautiful."

He was the first person to tell me I was beautiful, even though beautiful was a word reserved for girls mostly. I wanted to laugh, push him away and tell him to save the cheap talk. 

But everyone knows that if a white boy calls you beautiful, then you have to be.

Percy pulled away from me. He brought his hands up to my face. His hands were warm, and they felt like comfort.

"In some way, this feels wrong," I said.

When a white boy hides you from the world, it says more about him. Some would find this loving. Oh, he's private about his life or wants to keep me to himself. No, it's because you're black and he's ashamed of you.

Where was my shame, though?

Percy smiled at me before saying, "It doesn't. Unless you want it to feel wrong."

"I'm your secret."

"Secrets are good." 

I rolled my eyes and pushed his hands away from my face. "No, they're not."

"You're my boy," Percy said. I didn't make it off his bed before he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me down between his legs. His breath felt like a gentle breeze against my skin. Percy kissed the side of my neck up to my jaw and back down again. 

You're my boy. His way of claiming ownership of me. Because with those three words, I was easily undone. Because I was his boy. No one else's but his. When a white boy claims you, it was something special about that even if the world doesn't know. You know.White boys make you feel special because they believe they are special.

Percy was like whiskey. The burn, the sting then the numbness sets in. Everything that hurt felt good to me. So when he wraps his lies around small truths they are so much easier to swallow. His bittersweet words always sour my stomach.

I turned into his arms. Letting my lips explore his like they did many times before. With his arms around my waist, holding me close to him as possible; I melt into him.  We stayed like that for a few moments.

What were we? If not lovers? Too much of myself became Percy. When I looked into the mirror all I saw was him, his baby blue eyes staring back at me fondly. How much of me did he become?