Love How I Love You | WMBM | BXB BL

8 | Lost in some pity sex

As I sat in the van, my back sank deeper into the plush leather seat as I stared at Percy's text. 

Percy: Where are you?

Anger knotted inside me. I rub my chest feeling the restless pain wanting to crawl out of my heart. There was the foul taste of sadness and I couldn't stop the tears from falling down my face. What the fuck did you expect, Jason? And I wasn't sure what hurt the most, him pretending not to know me or Abigail calling Percy her boyfriend. 

My phone buzzed again, its bright light illuminating the back of the van briefly before the screen faded to black. I press my thumb on the side button of my phone unlocking it. My eyes fall to a second text from Percy.

Percy: Goddammit Jason, answer me.

I wipe the tears from my eyes, my hand trembles a little as I type a text. The van door slides open and I look to see it's Ray. 

 "You okay?"

I look back at my phone staring at the message I had typed out: 'Sorry'. There was a heaviness and loneliness to that word and the more I stared at it I hated myself even more. I look back at Ray. His expression showed worry.

"Just feeling a little sick."

"I can tell Min-jun you're ready to go if you want to leave."

"It's fine," I said. "A little fresh air and I'll be fine." Climbing out the van I slid the door close behind me and leaned against the van door. Ray stands beside me.

"You sure you gonna be okay?" he asked.

"You don't have to stand out here with me. I'll be fine."

"I...Just wanna make sure you're gonna be okay."

Alejandra and Min-jun came to the van. He had a little bounce to him that he gets when he's excited about anything. Alejandra's hands were on Min-Jun's shoulder keeping him grounded to the earth like if she didn't hold him he would somehow float away.

"The birthday girl saw a cover we did of Katy Perry's last Friday night and asked if we could play that!" Min-jun clapped his hands together. When the excitement didn't show on my face, Min-jun stood still. "Everything good?"

Ray talks for me. "Jason isn't feeling well."

"Jason?" Min-jun said.

"I'm fine."

"You sure? Cause as your friend, I have a feeling you aren't fine."

Alejandra chimes in. "What's wrong?"

I looked at Ray standing next to me, then at my friends. Forcing a fake ass smile that makes my cheeks hurt I say, "Nothing. Let's go back in."

My friends believe it and rush back to the house. Before I could walk off Ray gently grabbed my wrist tugging me to his side. His gaze fell to mine. "You don't gotta force yourself."

"I said I'm fine, okay?" There was a bite to my words. I snatched my wrist out of his hold and headed towards the house.

It was sudden that I was grabbed. Strong, angry fingers digging into my arm. Percy quickly walked us into a cramped bathroom that smelled like apple cinnamon. He slammed the door shut. With my back pressed up against the door, I keep my focus on my dirty black and white Vans.

Even in this cramped space, I can feel Percy's anger rolling off him in waves.

"What is your problem?" He asked too calmly.

There was a little tinge of courage stuck in my throat to tell him, You know my fucking problem. Yet I couldn't say that.

Percy's hands come to my face, lifting my head. And I was so weak I cried.