Weeks. Lucien spent weeks learning the different flora that lived in the garden, drinking said flora in the Clay's, sometimes potent, teas. He'd learned to appreciate what the flora could do. How it helped the environment. But mostly he appreciated the bugs it brought. The zip of beetles, the hum of crickets, the buzz of flies. With them came the wallows of a frog or the chirp of a canary.
Lucien spent those weeks in the grove talking to the beetles and the frogs. They never answered, but Lucien was okay with that. He was sure the questions he asked, he didn't actually want an answer to.
Today was one such day. He sat in a clover patch near the pond, watching a ladybug crawl over the leaves. He listened to a nest of baby birds in the tree above him.
"You're all alone?" Lucien asked the ladybug, sticking his finger in front of it. The ladybug climbed on with no hesitation.
"You don't seem so sad," Lucien noted. "I wonder, do you have any friends? I used to think I did. But I have since learned it was not friendship, it was loyalty. Friendship is a two-way street." Lucien lowered his finger back down allowing the bug to climb back onto a clover. He closed his eyes. Remembering what Caduceus said.
"Take it as a learning experience. This that you are feeling is called guilt. It is a good thing."
"It doesn't feel Good," Lucien growled.
Caduceus laughed, "No, it does not. But that means you care and that... Well, that is a very good thing. With that, you can find your peace."
Lucien opened his eyes and let out a slow breath. He plucked a clover from the ground and leaned toward the side of the pond. He placed the clover on top of the water and let it float. A small ripple made by a leaping frog caused the clover to slip beneath the water. He watched it sink.
"You are my greatest regret," Lucien whispered as it disappeared into the darkness below. He imagined that somewhere beneath, a small black paw reached out to pluck the clover.
Lucien settled back down in the clover patch and watched the ladybug once more.
"Out here unsupervised, someone must be on good behavior." Beau's voice cut through the chirps of the baby birds above Lucien.
He turned and his chest lurched at the sight of Yasha. His jaw set as he glared at Beau.
"What no sarcastic quip?" Beau crossed her arms, her brow raising in amusement.
"Beau," Yasha said in a quiet tone, putting her hand on her shoulder.
"It's just hard to look at him and one, not see Molly, and two, not remember what he did to us." Beau snapped.
Lucien flinched.
"I can't undo what I did. But I am sorry that you can't unsee it when you look at me." Lucien stood.
Beau sat back on her heels, her brows raised in surprise. "I'm sorry but that sounded like a genuine apology."
Lucien clenched his jaw.
"Better than your apologies," Yasha teased Beau.
"Beau, Yasha." Caduceus emerged from the house with a warm smile. "It's good to see you."
"Hey, Cad, Yasha made you some bread." Beau turned her full attention to Caduceus as she pulled a cloth-wrapped bundle from her bag.
Yasha, however, didn't move. She stood watching Lucien.
"Babe?" Beau called from the doorway.
"I'll be right there," Yasha said.
Beau hesitated but Caduceus ushered her in with reassurances.
