Carl grimes imagines/oneshots

Gone (angst)

Song: Moral Of The Story - Ashe

A/N: this is a sad one lol, so be prepared for that. This takes place a few years after Rick "died" and Carl is still alive. You have a house together in Alexandria and Carl is having a really hard time coping with his father's death.

You wake up alone in the queen sized bed you share with Carl. It's still dark and the clock reads 2:45 AM. Did he finally do it? Did he leave? You think to yourself.

You get up and walk downstairs and into the kitchen. The moonlight coming in from the open curtains and illuminating Carl who is just staring out the window.

You lean on the counter. "You have early watch tomorrow, you should get some sleep." You say in a very monotone voice.

"I'll be fine." He responds in a dismissive tone.

"You do this every night. You're probably exhausted."

"Can't sleep."

"You're thinking of him aren't you?"

A tear falls from his eye and he looks down.

You step closer. "Carl there's nothing you could've done."

"That's not-"

"That's not what you were thinking about, I know."

He takes in a shaky breath. "What if, what if he's still out there?"

"You saw that bridge explode while he was on it. How could he have survived that?"

"We never found a body! He could've been swept away by the current!"

"Carl do you want to leave?"

You caught him off guard. "What?"

"Do you want to leave? Do you want to leave Alexandria and go look for your father?"

"I- I don't-."

"I've known for a while. I was just hoping that it would go away. But it hasn't. I see it everytime someone leaves Alexandria. I see it whenever someone brings him up. I see it when I mention our future together. Carl whenever I wake up and you're not there I'm terrified that you decided to go. I know you want to. I just need to hear it from you."

He's nods his head slowly. "I do. I want to go find him. But I don't wanna hurt you."

"It hurts me knowing that you'd rather be out there, looking for a man that you don't even know can be found. Than in here, building a life, with me."

"I don't want to want this. I want to be with you, but I can't shake the feeling that this is something I need to do. I need to find my family."

"Carl your family is right here! I'm right here!" You say in a choked voice.

You hold back tears. "I know it's gonna happen some day. I've seen the bag you left by the door, it's full. It's only a matter of time before... before..." You turn your head away from him as tears rush down your face and you bite your lip to stop yourself from making any noise. "If you leave, you're not just leaving Alexandria. You're leaving me, and everything we've worked so hard for. Carl if you go, I won't be here when you get back."

He's stunned. "I- I don't know what to say."

You walk up to him and wrap your arms around him. "Then say you'll stay. Say you won't leave. Please."

"I won't lie to you." He kisses the top of your head as you sob into his chest.

"Hey, listen to me." He lifts your head up so you're looking at him. "I will always love you. No matter what. Even if you're not mine anymore." He kissed you softly.