Petunia and the Little Monster

July 1975

Severus was used to nighttime disturbances while he stayed at Spinner's End.

His father, late and drunk and loud. His father's debt collectors, just as late but even louder.

His mother, on those rare evenings she could stir enough of a reaction to raise her voice, high and sharp like a siren. And those were always accompanied by the clear shattering of glass and ceramic, empty bottles and dirty dishes thrown by both parties.

But seldom did he wake to the sound of small pebbles hitting his window. And even more seldom did he look out of his window only for the breath to be punched from his lungs, his eyes widening at what they saw. A girl, hair like living fire in the darkness surrounding her, heart-shaped face turned up towards his window, a too big jacket thrown over what could only be her nightclothes.

"Lily."

It had been days since he had last seen her, weeks since she had last talked to him, months since she had actually sought him out and years since she had been here.

And with strange trepidation, Severus realised that something bad must have happened.

❀

Lily was crying. Each tear was a needle prick against the vulnerable tissue beneath Severus' ribs, stabbing deeper with every clear droplet that ran down her soft cheeks.

"How could she do that to m-me?"

Severus felt uncomfortably helpless. People didn't look for him when they needed comfort (people only looked for him for much harsher things) and he had very little experience with being consoled himself. What should he do? How could he help Lily?

How could he get her to stop crying?

All he could think to do was ask: "What happened?"

"She ... I didn't think she would, but she did! And now -" Another hiccuping sob and Severus felt his own throat clench in sympathy. "And now I'm grounded and they said, they said, they would pull me from school if I ever ..."

The rest was sobbed into the tissue Severus had given her, actually a few layered pieces of toilet paper. It felt somehow very wrong to see them touching Lily's lovely face, too unworthy to soak up her tears. Severus quickly averted his eyes, shame and an urge to spare himself pain directing his gaze away.

It landed on the fissured cracks that ran through his naked wall like veins through flesh, flesh the colour of stained yellow, courtesy of smog and dirty air instead of real paint. His bed was just below the last peel of faded wallpaper, a huddle of grey, unwashed sheets and springs pressing through the flimsy mattress, usually torturing his ribs and shoulder blades. The only other furniture in the narrow room was his Hogwarts trunk, once belonging to his mother and still holding her initials carved into the old, warped wood. It was stuffed with singed robes wrapped around carefully corked potions and tattered books, the chaos within visible as Severus hadn't bothered closing it.

A sour smell lingered in the air and Severus wasn't quite sure if it was the stench of his sweat or of his father's opened bottles.

But Lily was here, in his room. Severus had sometimes dreamt of this moment but only ever in such abstract terms that they defied all reality - his room would be big and clean, filled with expensive things and his dirt-crusted window wouldn't overlook a garbage-filled sidealley but a stunning scenery instead.

Just like Potter's room probably looked right this second, Severus sneered internally, filled with every precious thing his spoiled heart could think of - except the one currently in Severus' room: Lily.

Though he had to admit he certainly wished he had at least cleaned up a bit and that she would be smiling instead of crying. But it didn't change the fact that she had chosen him to come to.

And Severus would do his best to protect her, as he had vowed to himself all those years ago when he first saw a young witch in horrid, muggle-invested Cokeworth, a breeze ruffling her flower-covered dress while she played on the swings, higher and higher with a tinkling laugh (and her skeletal, waspish sister screaming at her to get down in the background).

So he repeated: "What happened?"

And Lily told him. About her wish to help, about her dream of saving people, of those like-minded with her that had reached out. And then her face shuttered and new tears were blinked free, her lips wobbling when she continued: "And Tuney ... she somehow found out and she completely overreacted! She was screaming and then Mum came and Tuney - she ..."

Something inside Severus' chest clenched.

"It's all her fault! She told Mum and Dad and then they said they won't let me go back to Hogwarts if I ever do something like that again, because they don't understand - I already promised I would, I made plans so I could finally do some good and now everything is ruined!"

"Your sister ..."

"She betrayed me - I don't understand how she could ... I know that she was always, you know, because of my magic, and I did my best to understand, she just didn't like it and it was fine, but I never thought - How could she?"

Severus swallowed. His mouth tasted foul.

Lily's sobs slowed and her voice lost volume. "I think I fooled myself ... I believed that no matter what happened between us, she would be on my side when it really counted."

Severus had no answer to give, only one phrase ringing in his ears, uttered years past. He had sworn himself he would do whatever it took to make Lily happy, to keep her safe. Now it was time to prove himself.

He had a promise to keep.

❀