& Them | A Stardew Valley FanFiction (Sequel to "Us")

Chapter 1 - Fall 1

"You idiots are fucking with me, right?"

A deafening silence overtook the already cramped space, the only noise being that of grazing cattle drifting through the open barn doors.

"Please tell me you idiots are fucking with me." Shane groaned, sprinkling feed onto the hay-covered wooden planks. Livestock rapidly approached at the sound of his hand rustling around in the bucket, eagerly awaiting each handful to fall to their reach.

I could feel the others' postures stiffen alongside mine as Shane turned to face us, a scowl creeping onto his already irascible features. His narrowed eyes examined each of us, almost as though he were trying to remember who we are—his gaze slowly making its way onto and past me.

"You people must want me to be in hell," he huffed, turning back towards the flock of chickens who were now pecking at his ankles. "But fine."

The breath I had been holding released itself, a small smile engraving itself onto my lips.

"So you'll do it?" a giddy voice said from beside me.

"Jesus, Sam, why do you seem so excited to see a grown man's underwear?"

It had been months since Lewis had bestowed the most outlandish of quests upon me—find his lucky purple shorts. Despite my immediate suspicions as to where they may be—thanks to Sam's extensive expertise on town drama—I still insisted on checking every single other possibility first...I did not want to have to ask Marnie to take a peek in her room, or even worse—tell Lewis that I found them in there.

"Please don't tell her we asked you to," I murmured. "This is the one piece of gossip that I am not happy to be in the know about."

"Oh, you're uncomfortable knowing it?" Shane said blandly. "I have to live it, princess. We are not the same."

I scoffed, disgust rewriting my formerly happy demeanor. I couldn't tell which was worse—Shane calling me princess, or him being right.

"Oh, yeah, let's keep discussing Lewis and Marnie's sex life. I'm sure that will make all of us feel a lot less awkward right now," Alex rolled his eyes, directing his attention towards Shane. "When can you let us know about the shorts?"

"Fuck if I know," Shane spat back, turning to face us again. "Marnie is the most un-fucking-predictable person on the planet. Who knows how her shop isn't bankrupt, she's barely here half the time."

I could feel my livestock agreeing from afar, the prospect of finding Marnie at the counter more rare than catching one of those mythical legendary fish; this posed a particularly precarious game of roulette during the winter. "True that," I whispered.

"I'll check when I can, but I won't be caught dead rummaging around in there," Shane grunted firmly. "I'll get to it when I get to it. I'll catch one of you fools around if I find 'em. I'm sure—much to my dismay—I'll run into you all again."

Shane was annoyingly condescending—the kind of prick that had no right to be. With a half-assed promise to fulfill our request on his own time, he was gone—the scent of beer and month-old laundry taking his place and absorbing any remaining ounce of fresh air.

"Fuck," Alex griped, complaining for the better half of the walk home. "You know, Joja closed, what, six months ago now? And he's still wearing that gross sweatshirt from the uniform? And to boot, it doesn't even seem like he's washed it, like, at all. That thing could clear the entire town square if you left it in the sun for ten minutes."

Haley and I exchanged glances as we failed to stifle our giggles, amused by Alex's irrelevant irritation. His sour attitude was almost comparable to Shane's—a truth that could never be spoken aloud.

Sam maintained a consistent six foot head start as compared to the group, his long legs operating on an agenda of their own. His blonde hair bounced as he progressed, the golden rays of the setting sun bouncing off of it and back onto the crisp, colorful trees that lined the perimeter of Cindersap.

"Sam!" Haley screeched. "Do you mind?"

"Listen, ladies," Sam yelled from his position as line-leader. "Usually, I wouldn't mind a snail's pace stroll, but there is no way in hell I'm letting one of you beat me to the bathroom today."

"Oh, yeah?" Alex challenged, cracking his knuckles.

"Alex, please," Sam cried, starting to move slightly faster.

With that, Alex took off, and Sam followed suit—their strained yells growing more and more faint.

"Some things will never change," Haley sighed, watching their silhouettes disappear into the entrance of the farm.

"At least they entertain themselves," I chuckled, nodding in agreement. "If they tried to get us to run like that..."

"Oh, hell no," Haley laughed, smacking my shoulder. "Don't even speak that into existence. They'd get their asses whooped."

I smiled to myself as we continued walking, the familiar crunch of fallen leaves beneath our shoes. The house was quiet when we entered; the sound of the bathroom fan whirred through the hallway, and Alex had disappeared.

"Alright, love, I'm gonna go lay down," Haley said, turning towards her bedroom. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

I nodded as she disappeared into her room, taking a moment to breathe in the silence. With some proper bribing, we were able to convince Robin to take on the farmhouse as a summer project, expanding its previously small foundation to comfortably sustain the lifestyles of four people—a feat that proved itself to be more strenuous than anticipated. We were faced with an ultimatum: squeezing in four bedrooms meant space for only one bathroom—a decision that I was growing to regret.

"Are you kidding me?" I groaned as I came to a stop behind Alex, who looked almost as irritated as me.

"I tried to beat him, Sade," he said defeatedly. "I knew none of us were gonna get in here if his ass got here first."

"I can hear you!" Sam screeched over the fan. "Can't a man shit in peace?"

I collapsed onto my bed as Alex continued to gripe, occasionally banging on the door and spitting witty insults at Sam. My eyes fluttered shut in-between each spat, jolting open again once the bickering resumed.

I'd never been so thankful to hear a toilet flush.