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Vee awakened from his vision disturbed. Pants came from his mouth along with salty sea of tears that trailed down his cheeks.
His mind was more freed than it ever had been before, whatever that was freed him from the trauma he'd been repressing so chillingly. But it also hurt. He didn't know why it hurt, but it had. And it hurt so deeply.
So badly.
He sat for a moment, his pants turning into light sobs. His sobs were quiet, a call for help. A help that wouldn't come for a moment. His tiny sobs became louder and he began to hyperventilate a bit. He couldn't breath, he couldn't breathe. Whatever was happening to him made him unable to breathe.
Why can't I breathe?, he wondered so hard, but that didn't stop the feeling. He clutched his chest; pressing on his lungs so they'd hopefully begin to work but they hadn't. A sense of dread overwhelmed his presence and suddenly all the lights began to flicker in the apartment. It felt like he couldn't breathe, he couldn't breathe? Why couldn't he breathe?
As he cried his mouth started to become drier than it ever had been and the words of his mother began to repeat themselves over and over again.
I love you, my stäi.
Why was she gone. Why was she gone. Why was she gone. Why did she die, why had she died? Why couldn't he remember her? Why was she gone. Why was she gone, why did she die? Why had she died? Why couldn't he remember her? Why was she gone. Why was she gone. Why was she gone. Why did she die, why had she died? Why couldn't he remember her? Why was she gone. Please. Why was she gone? Why was she gone. Why was she gone. Why was she gone. Why did she die, why had she died? Why couldn't he remember her? Why was she gone?
Please, why was she gone? Why did he take her?
The inability to breathe became unbearable for Vee and as he sobbed the television exploded into flames. Shit, why couldn't he still breathe. Why was this happening?
Suddenly he felt a bile start to travel up his throat and before he knew it. He hurried to a nearby trash can and threw up stomachs acid. He hadn't ate anything all day, so there was nothing to throw up. He felt the urge to vomit again—which was done but in between cries. When the nausea had stopped, he laid on next to the trash can.
Curling into the fetal position, he cried even harder. A light exploded from his cries.
But as he did, a muffled voice was finally coming through his ears. It wasn't blocked by the constant noise in his head that made him cry violently and make the lights cry with him, he could feel the arms of someone wrapping around him. But he couldn't. He wouldn't.
Vee struggled in the person's grip, "Don't touch me!" He screamed, and the lights screamed with him.
Glass was all over him and the person's back as their muffled cries & begging wasn't heard, they couldn't be heard in this hell. The hell of knowing the truth. Of knowing he could never see her again. Of knowing that he remembered her all this time but couldn't remember who she really was because she made him forget. Of knowing that he will never be able to feel her connection again, because it has already fell. Of knowing she was the one in his mind, and the one guiding him to the truth of what happened but leaving as soon as he found it.
