Spontaneous... Depression?

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It's been a while since I joined Luffy's crew and things just feel wrong. I don't know what's wrong with me or why I feel this way. It's like when I walk, there are weights chained to my feet, or when I think, my skull is about to explode with sadness.

"Good morning, Roshunai! You're looking rather lovely today," the blonde cook complemented as I picked at my food. I just smiled weakly and pretended to be interested in the omelet that sat on my plate. He gave me a concerned glance. "Is everything okay? I didn't cook it wrong did I?"

"Do you have any alcohol?" I blurted.

"Of course we have alcohol, this is a pirate ship after all," Zoro smirked and tossed me a bottle of ale. I nodded in thanks and stood up to retreat to the crows nest. The wooden chair in which I sat wobbled and almost fell. Everyone's gaze fell on the door that I left swinging in my escape.

I climbed the ladder as quickly as I could to try to hide the threatening tears. Damn it, what's wrong with me?! I thought as I finally reached the top. I unplugged the cork in the bottle and I started to drink. Luckily for me, there were a few more unopened bottles up here already. Maybe if I could get drunk, I would wake up with a hangover and get back to normal.

The booze only heightened my emotional distress. I began crying and screaming for everyone to leave me alone, although no one had even come to check on me yet. I've gone through 4 fifths of 100 proof whiskey (That's a LOT, btw). The crying had ceased and the sobbing had begun. I was huffing and gasping for air and my eyes must've been as red as Luffy's shirt.

"Hey, R-Roshunai?" I heard behind me. It was Luffy. I sniffled and tried to hide my undeniable tears. "Why are you crying?" he said in a deep voice. He hated it when his crew mates cried. I ran into his arms and fell to the ground. He was still holding me. "I'm not gonna ask you again, Roshunai. What's wrong?"

"I.... I don't know...." I finally said through tears. Then I felt his grip around my trembling body.

"Stop. Crying," he growled.

"L-Luffy...?" I gasped.

"Don't cry. You're strong, we'll figure it out. But we can't figure it out if you don't accept help."

I wiped away a few of my stray tears as he continued. "You can't shut yourself away. C'mon," he offered his hand to me. I grabbed it and tried to stand but I fell every time I tried. He wrapped my arms around him and stretched us down to the main deck.

"Roshunai! What's wrong?!" Zoro shouted and ran over instantly.

"I-I'm fine.." I mumbled. Luffy handed me off to him and whispered something in his ear. Zoro nodded and carried me to my room.

"Are you drunk?" he sighed.

"Welllll, obviouslyyy," I replied with a slur in my words.

He chuckled a bit. "D-don't laugh... this is your fault."

"What? How is this my fault?"

"I wouldn't be feeling this way if you had just returned my feelings!"

"Roshunai, you need to sleep," he said, completely ignoring my statement. He pulled the blanket up my body but I grabbed his wrist forcefully.

"....Ro-chan, don't make me do this," he said under his breath. Almost as if he had lost any kind of sympathy towards me, he pulled my lips to his in a rough kiss. It was full of rage and passion although it was quick.

"What was that for?" I asked simply in my confused state.

"Don't worry, now go to sleep. I'll check on you tomorrow."

I smiled a bit and felt some of the pressure drift from my skull.

"Thank you," I whispered sleepily.

"Don't worry about it, Roshunai. I won't let you ever be sad, I promise."

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