Chapter 18

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With the sunlight raining down through the windows of the bedroom, Xie Lian stirs as it manages to peak through the transparent curtains. His arms were slightly stiff, but when they attempted to stretch out just slightly, he winds up bumping into something beside him. His eyes open slightly to a sight that he didn't expect to see. Beside him was the sleeping face of his partner who had managed to sing him to sleep. He carefully sits up as he stares down at his face. He reaches over to lightly brush the dark strands of his hair out of his face, revealing the scar that was aligned over the lid of his eye. 

'I wonder how it happened. He always has this wall built up to shield him from all forms of pain or trouble. But I'm sure at one point he was just this boy, the same boy I met who fell into trouble. And I couldn't be there for him.....'

The thought of anyone ever hurting him troubled him. He would always hold himself accountable for not being able to protect the ones he cared for. Even if he was a child all those years ago, he had promised that he wouldn't let anyone hurt him again. And yet that promise was broken. His finger trails softly over the scar along his eyelid, not realizing that his small movement had managed to awaken the young man from his own slumber. His eye twitches for a moment before he manages to open it to see Xie Lian staring down at him with a small smile. He blinks for a moment as the rays of the sun manage to brighten his image, creating the illusion of a heavenly glow.

"Good morning, San Lang."

San Lang smiles lightly, but then realizes that his hand was resting over his damaged eye.

"Gege you..."

"I couldn't help, but look over the wound. Did it wake you....?"

"No."

"Then what's wrong..?"

San Lang's eye glances to the side with shame. He can't bring himself to look at him in such a state. During the night, he had kept it covered with his hair, but now the scar was in full view. A sight that he just couldn't love. 

"San Lang...please look at me,"

He looks over to him but pauses when he feels the soft touch of Xie Lian's lips over his eye lid. 

"Gege...."

"San Lang, I don't want you to feel ashamed of this mark. I don't know what you went through, and I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you. It must've hurt,"

San Lang lifts his hand to layer over the hand that was resting over his cheek. With the movement of his head he turns a bit more to plant a kiss to his hand.

"This scar...is something that I don't like. That is true. It's fairly unsightly, but it's also a reminder for something important to me,"

Xie Lian is curious as to what he means, but instead of prying into his private affairs he decides to smile.

"Well, regardless of how it came to be, you're still handsome."

San Lang feels his cheeks flush lightly as he felt such a heat wave breed from his stomach. He was praised for his beauty by someone he adored more than himself. More than life. He couldn't help, but chuckle faintly with a smile that was different from his previous ones. It was a smile that was not only filled with embarrassment, but also filled with the need to give up and allow himself to be loved by his partner. Xie Lian smiles and encircles his arms around his neck as his forehead presses to his.

"Please love yourself a bit more San Lang,"

"Gege is being a hypocrite now, then can you love yourself more as well?"

Xie Lian chuckles lightly, as his smile dims a bit.

"With time. With time..."

"We have plenty of time,"

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