I get tongue tied when anyone reaches for me, or when I try to reach for them
I think we grew up in glass houses with the people inside throwing stones at the walls and cieling
I think we grew up in snowed in houses, permafrost and winter depression
Like sitting at the bottom of a dark lake
alone alone alone alone alone
You can be with someone and still be so so alone
I don't want you to be alone
I want to be here with you
I want us to be so grounded and healthy
I want us to be so deep in it, so unburdened
It starts with "I forgive you"
I say it over and over like a prayer until it's true
It starts with planting little seeds in our garden: communication, intimacy, independence
I want to plant the garden myself while you set your feet up on the patio, serve you iced tea
But that is not how gardens grow
