Get out of her Instagram. Stop hating her for loving him when you stand in her shoes. Let him go. That boy can't love you, he just wants someone to care for him.
Don't give what you cannot afford to lose
Stop listening to sad Frank Ocean songs. Go take care of yourself, find a hobby.
Find some friends to hang out with who want to hang out with you
Write more, finish that memoir, and those short stories. Go for walks outside, even if it's just for a bit. Stop drinking so much iced coffee and switch to water. Look into therapy. Invest time in your well being.
Let go of the past
Let go of the person you were, let go of who they used to be to you. They are not that anymore just as you aren't. And I'll tell you a secret, just like you're holding onto that person who no longer exists, so are they, and that's all they see now when they look at you. It's time to grow beyond it.
Start exploring yourself
What do you really like? Find some cheap clothes that fit a style you haven't tried yet. Listen to new music. Get a haircut for gods sake, and remember to use conditioner.
Instead of consuming what helps you forget, or what makes you wallow, look for what uplifts you.
There's so much life right in front of you and you're letting it go down the drain because you got tired of cleaning up the messes. Everyone does, but it's time.
It's time to see what's on the other side of the next curtain and start living.
It might just surprise you.
