The One I Used to Love

Chapter 57

As 3 months went by Narcissa helped you with your pregnancy and the symptoms

School had already started again but you weren't ready to go back so Dumbledore said he'd get a temporary replacement for you for this year

You were 5 months pregnant now so everyone just wanted to make sure you had as less stress as possible

"Sirius what was it like there?" You ask and Sirius sighs knowing you meant Azkaban

"Terrible, it sucks away every good thing you have every happy memory, and you feel like a shell of yourself, he's going through hell right now y/n." Sirius says and you knew he would be but you wanted to know what he's going to be going through every day

You needed to know

You keep counting the days since he's been gone

He's been gone for 13 weeks now

You don't know if you could ever recover from this truly, like you may never get over this every day it stings your heart

Every day you don't feel better you feel numb and lost

"Sirius promise me he will get one." You say looking up at him pleading and Sirius sighs

"I can't promise you that I'm sorry y/n, I wish I could but I can't." Sirius says and you just cry into his jacket not able to handle this anymore "But no matter what your going to be a fantastic mother y/n I believe in you, you can do this." Sirius says and you take a deep breath as you put a hand on your baby bump

"I should, um go to the muggle world for a doctors appointment to find out the gender soon I need to book my appointment." You say and Sirius nods as he pats your head making you smile

"And I'll come with you, I'm not a wanted criminal there." Sirius says and you nod as you dry your tears and smile you can't sit around crying you have a baby that will need you in 4 months now, honestly you have to just focus on that and it'll be okay

'I wish Lucius was here but he's not and he may never be here and I'm just going to have to accept it, no matter how much I don't wanna.'