MATT STURNIOLO In Denial

Chapter Seven The Day On The Lawn

TW: descriptions of death, blood.

I continue packing while my parents let the news set it. I just barely finished my third year of college, and I'm getting ready to move back home for the summer. I'm excited I guess, I get to see my best friend from home Brittney who I've know for a long time. I'm not excited to live with my parents. If there not arguing out in public then they're yelling at each other at home. I know I didn't help by telling them I wanted to drop out and focus on trying to be a YouTuber, which has been a dream since I was younger. My parents are arguing now in the other room, each of them on a side. My dad thinks it's a great idea, he wanted to play the piano when he was younger and instead he signed up for the military to make his dad happy. My mom thinks it's foolish, she says if I had a million followers and was making money off of it, then I could make a stupid decision like dropping out. But I don't, and I'm not even close. I don't really have any followers at all, to me it's less about that and more about marketing. I want to be a photographer and painter, and whatever other art I can get my hands on. To be able to sell myself and my art, being part of the times is to market on social media. I have cool ideas of videos where I Timelapse me painting, or record the process of what it's like trying to take a perfect reference photo.
"She's 21, she has time now to go after what makes her happy!" My dad says.
"No, she's 21, now is the time for her to be responsible. She's not gonna make it. She needs a stable job like marketing." I don't think they know I can hear them, or else my mom wouldn't have mentioned she doesn't think I have what it takes.
"YouTube is marketing, that's what the kids do these days."
"I don't care, if she wants to do some advanced YouTube marketing shit than she needs the degree and can't drop out. You are going to go in there and change her mind-"
I put my head phones in and sit on the floor and try and zone them out. It'll be a while till they stop, and I don't want to just keep listening to them try and decide my life for me. I open my phone and do what I always do when I need cheering up. I go watch one of the Sturniolo Triplets videos. They are huge reason I wanted to chase this dream in the first place. Nick is a photographer too, that's how they all got into making videos, it made me believe I could too. Also I am kinda a total fan girl. I scroll down to the first video they ever posted, and play it. It's some Q and A where they answer questions from their Instagram. I watch for a bit, watching some of the chips my roommate left. It doesn't make me feel better honestly. And there so loud in my ear I can't hear my parents, I don't even notice they walk in till my starts toward me, startling me. I take my headphones out.
"Can I catch a ride with you?" My dad asks.
"Mom being a bitch." I joke getting my backpack, and pillow, the last things I needed to bring down to the car.
"Don't call your mother that." I rise my eyebrow at him. "But she is, I just can't stand to see her right now." I laugh, cause even if he wanted to see her he couldn't.
"Are you gonna backseat drive though? I always hate when you do that, I can never focus."
"No, I won't backseat drive." He says holding onto my shoulder as I help him out of my dorm.
"I was gonna passenger seat drive."
"Shut the fuck up." I say which makes him laugh again. When we start driving I can tell he's still not in a good mood though, every time he tries to talk about my mother I shut him down telling him I don't wanna get involved.  After about an hour he finally talks again.
"You know, I think you could do anything you want, and be amazing at it." I smile and look in the mirror at his face.
"Thank you." I say. And we drive for awhile listening to Sufjan Stevens and Paramore.
"How much longer?" My dad asks and I check telling him about an hour.
"What's it telling you to do?"
"It wants me to turn left in a mile."
"Oh no don't do that."
"No dad, gps says turn left."
"You can't turn left."
"The gps says-"
"I'm telling you stay straight."
"It's just gonna make me turn around."
"I know it's not left, go straight, if I'm wrong then I guess we'll just make a U turn."
The turn is coming up. I make a quick decision and he hears my blinker turn on.
"Come on!" He complains.
"Dad I'm gonna follow the directions on the phone." I say going to turn.
"I know what I'm talking about!" I turn without looking in my blind spot and hit the car to our left.
"Fuck!" I scream. I try and stop the car but I'm going to fast, I just nicked the car next to me but now we are both trying to get into the turning lane and there's no space. I quickly and harshly turn my wheel to the right which spins out the massive semi truck on our right. The car to our left quickly speeds up as the semi truck rams into my fathers side of the car loosing control. I look over terrified seeing the impact as it happens. My father aware something's going on with the movement and my scream has braced him self back. I go to reach for my phone as it all happens. My adrenaline kicking in I'm fast enough to gab it with the hopes that I'll be able to call someone for help if I make it. The impact hits me and my head swings over smashing into my window breaking it, I close my eyes as the glass shattered. We flip over and over and eventually land ten feet away. I'm awake for most of it, I can feel every turn as my body feels the weight gravity shifting. We lands flipped on it's left and My head rest on the ground below me, I feel grass poking through my ear and in my hair. I feel the wound on my head bleeding. Still somehow conscious, my body in shock, I'm still numb to the pain, I try and get my phone. I reach for it next to me, I keep trying to unlock it.
"Fuck." I say and finally get it unlocked, I some how close out out of the navigation and go to call 911, but my head starts stinging. My vision starts going in and out and I try my hardest to fight it. I quickly try and press on my phone on anything trying to do something.

"What's your favorite thing about being a triplet?" I hear Nick say. And my vision goes black. In my dream I see a light, a bright light that calls to me, tells me it's okay. But I'm too distracted by my friends Nick Matt and Chris to listen to it. They bicker and I laugh, they bring me comfort and I forget how I got here. I feel something dripping on my face, it's raining I think. Matt looks at me and I look up at him.
"What's your biggest fear?" He asks, making sure I feel included. Suddenly the dripping becomes more annoying, I go to wipe my face but I can't move, my eyes shoot open. I see my father hanging from his seatbelt next to me, completely unconscious, I hear the triplets video play on.
"This." I say, the horrifying sight in front of me scaring my eyes.
"This is my biggest fear."