Fighting Butterflies (BoyxBoy)

Nineteen

The two continued their walk along the streets of Redwood Valley after leaving the mall. There weren't many places to go in the small town, and it didn't help that the places they could go reminded him of Drew. The blond boy pursed his lips as a rush of anger flickered through him. Ryan was not going out of his way to think about him... he was doing everything he could to avoid even thinking of his name. But it couldn't be helped when Drew was the first person to take him stargazing at the park. Drew had been his everything, no matter how unrequited that feeling was. He was his first crush, first date, first kiss and first love. Could he forget him that easily?

Ryan had no idea how or if it was even possible. He stopped short in his steps when he noticed Cain walking toward a bench at the park... the bench where he had sat with Drew two months ago when they were just getting to know each other.

"Can we not sit there?" Ryan asked when Cain who had now realized the former had stopped walking turned to him.

The tall boy glanced at the bench and back at Ryan with raised brows. "Why not?" He cocked his head, looking as if he wanted to say something but found it infinitely better to keep in instead.

Ryan licked his lips, closing his eyes a moment. "I don't know... I just don't feel good sitting there," he said, leaving his statement open but without a doubt that the senior who seemed far smarter than he let on would figure it out.

"This about him?"

Ryan nodded, blond hair bouncing as he did so.

"Alright," Cain sighed, and Ryan almost breathed a sigh of relief at not having to relive a moment with Drew... at least until Cain slipped his fingers into the younger boy's hand. "Come with me," he simply said.

Ryan followed him with wide eyes as Cain led him to the bench, completely ignoring what the blond boy had said only a minute ago. Without saying much, Cain pulled him down to the bench with him.

"Did it burn you?"

"What?"

"The chair? Does it burn?" Cain asked again as he turned to face Ryan, putting his arm over the backrest. "Or do you want him to control your life from now on? The choice is yours, really," he added and turned away, taking out his phone and scrolling through it as if he had just not said those words to Ryan.

Why do you have to be so rude? Ryan wanted to say, and the words were just on the tip of his tongue, ready to be blurted out if he wasn't completely stunned by what Cain had said. Is he right? Am I letting him control my life? He bit his lip, breathing in. Could it even be called control when Ryan's mind constantly refused to stop bringing up Drew every chance it got? It wasn't as if the boy had not tried. Since Drew had made the decision to completely ignore his existence, since the day Drew had decided to finally go after Nora, Ryan had done everything he could to rid himself of the feelings he had for the dark-skinned senior.

But for a love that had deeply infested his heart, it was not so simple to be rid of. And it flared up the hot fury in Ryan's veins when Cain spoke as if loving Drew was a choice. It hurt Ryan when Cain talked about his feelings as if he had chosen to get involved with Drew and not because the love he had for the latter hit him like a train.

"Would it kill you to have a little empathy?"

"I did once, and you ignored me for a week."

That was enough to shut Ryan up, and not because he didn't have anything to say. He did. He opened his mouth to speak but no words would come out. Cain was absolutely right and the guilt that Ryan felt for his behavior or lack thereof came back tenfold. The blond boy bit his lip as a blush coated his cheeks, shame engulfing him and making him wish the earth would open and swallow him up.