bits of my mind

hallucinations (finesti)

so i forgot i wrote this. found it when i was looking for some old writing i did before lol, it's hurt/comfort once again so enjoy.

tw: for torture (??), major injury from a mine, asphyxia, attempted murder, self-inflicted injury (not really sh), disassociation, hallucination, trauma

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Finland lay in the snow. It was cold, biting at his bones. He could barely feel his back and hands, and the burning sensation in his right arm had faded into a milder, throbbing pain that he could almost ignore. The snow around his wound was red, and he refused to look, but the metallic stench was all he could smell.

He felt his vision phase in and out, and he closed his eyes, trying to get rid of the lightheadedness. Breathing heavily, he groaned as he attempted to look up at a shadowy figure walking towards. With his uninjured arm, he patted his clothes down for a handgun or a blade, anything that could protect him.

His head spun. When the mine had exploded, he was skiing, and the explosion flung him quite a fair bit away. His gun may have dropped out. With a grunt, he managed to pull out a concealed knife he had strapped to his body as the figure loomed over him.

A hand grabbed him by the front of his clothes, and he felt his injured arm jolt, letting out a muffled yelp of pain. When his vision came into focus, he realised who the man staring him down was, and he began to kick at the ground, trying to get back on his feet. "Направляясь куда-либо?"

Finland yelled in pain as the Soviet grabbed him by his wounded arm with his other hand, digging his fingers into the torn flesh. The former's kicks weakened, collapsing back into the snow and choking on sobs. Soviet Union let go of his grip on Finland's arm, pulling his now blood stained gloved hand back.

"T...tapan si...sinut," Finland hissed, doubling over in pain. He scanned the ground for his pistol, his eyes roving back and forth in a panicked manner. Soviet Union tsked, shaking his head like a disappointed teacher.

"На русском."

Growling in anger, Finland snapped back upright, turning around and clutching his injured arm to his side before ramming the older man to the ground, letting out a grunt of pain at the impact and rolling off to the side. "Я УБЬЮ ТЕБЯ!"

He got up again, staggering, while Soviet Union got up swiftly, a new anger kindling in his eyes. The latter walked towards Finland, taking big strides as the Finnish man backed up, trying to brace himself. Then Finland felt the wind get knocked out of his lungs as he was slammed into the ground.

Sparks danced in his vision as he felt his head hit the ice and he heard a sharp crack. He hoped that it was the ice and not the skull, but he supposed it didn't matter as dread pooled in his stomach, certain that he was meeting his demise.

Soviet Union bent over him, one knee on his chest and the other on the ground. Then Finland felt arms wrap around his neck, pressing down hard and constricting his airflow. He grabbed at the hands, kicking and writhing under the weight of his enemy, asphyxiating. As his vision started to tinge black, he attempted instead to aim for the Soviet's face, trying to gouge out his eyes.

"P-painu helvettiin," he managed to gurgle out, feeling his struggling grow weaker as his vision faded to full darkness.

—

Finland sat bolt upright in bed, swinging at empty air with surprising force. From beside him, in the relative darkness of their room, Estonia stirred, rising blearily. "Soome?"

Said country heaved, feeling the bile in his throat and the cold sweat rolling down his back. He turned on their bedside lamp, pulling up right sleeve, but all that was there was old and healed scarring.