bits of my mind

oc #2

oh boy this one's a rough one. long note cause of that.

just when i thought 8k words was bad. i pull out this 11.2k canon and mostly angst story from my oc's plotline :)

i think i'm going insane. <3

this is way too long to put on discord (and also way too long for me to proofread with a headache so i apologise in advance in case of mistakes) so i'm putting it on here for my friends to read again lol

DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT /srs (wow using ao3 terms, very classy)

tw: kidnapping, torture (specifications in comments), death threats (9), mentions/contemplation of suicide, forceful drugging, explicit language, depersonalisation, suggestion of SA, attempted murder, clinical death, arson/burning alive

(please. this is not ur sign to share about suicide. i don't know how many times i have to say this. do *not* glorify suicide/sh. you will be muted and i will most likely forget to unmute you.) 

final note: i do not condone any of the behaviours in the tw section.

word count: 11200 (11.2k) words

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Lena knocks on the door. "Kolya?"

Inside the office, Nikolai scrambles, shoving his cigarette into the ceramic bottom of his ashtray, putting it out and shoving the entire thing into his desk drawer. He straightens up, pretending to busy himself with paperwork, clearing his throat. "Come in, Lena."

"Kolya... I can smell the cigarette smoke, you know?" she remarks, a small teasing smile on her face. She takes a seat in front of his desk, placing her hands on the table. "It's not so good to smoke, you know that, right?"

"Yes, I know. You're right," he replies, a twinkle in his eyes, as he chuckles. "Need it to keep myself calm sometimes, though. I should quit, but... sometimes you need something like that to get you through a bad day. You catch my drift?"

She folds her arms, putting them on the wood and resting her head on them, looking up at him with a slight smile. "I know. Just don't overdo it, alright? 'S no good for you."

"I'll try," he says, smiling. Then the smile fades, his expression turning grim as he remembers what he called his sister in for. He glances at the closed door. "Right... so about what I called you in for... Listen close, Lena."

Sitting up, she pulls her chair in closer. Now that she's closer to him, he can see the dark eye circles around her eyes. His face softens, and he takes a slight detour. "Nightmares again, Lena?"

"Yeah. Same ones every night. Him beating the shit out of me, mostly, breaking my ribs and all," Lena nods, laughing wryly and casting her eyes down, roving the surface of his slightly messy desk. She lowers her voice. "Doesn't get any easier, does it?"

"No," Nikolai admits. "Just gets easier to handle."

She sighs. "Doesn't matter. He's dead now."

Every time they talk about him, about Viktor Volkov, she avoids his name like the plague. Nikolai couldn't blame her. He took it as his prompt to stop talking about the man, and get back to his previous topic.

"Right. So, the uh, what I was going to say. I suppose I might as well get to the point. There's a... there's a mole. The enemy has been getting information that they shouldn't be getting. Classified information. Battle plans, the sort. Tactics. There's no other way that the information would be spread. Nothing was transmitted, they wouldn't have been able to intercept anything."