The Fringe

Chapter 12

The morning alarms went off, but everyone continued to sleep. I had been awake for a while and needed to finally get up and do something. I stood up and, in the darkness, made out Ben's sleeping silhouette. He was laying on his stomach, his arms under his pillow and his face buried in the fabric. I sighed as I stared at him for a moment then turned and grabbed my things and quietly made my way out of the room and down to the showers.

                After I had finished getting ready, I roamed the halls mindlessly. I could feel that today would provide something of relief, that I would possibly get an answer. I needed that. I needed to be reassured that everything was going to be okay.

                Ben was planning on staying her, in the Fringe, and joining the military and working here at the facility under Colonel Geller. I had planned on going back to the city, or at least that was my hopes. I wanted to be with my parents again. I've already lost one set, I didn't want to think about what would happen if I lost the ones I actually knew. I would probably lose it and become the harm to society that the Mayor has already claimed us to be. I couldn't lose them. I can't lose Ben.

                But I was.

                He had already made up his mind and there was no convincing him. And it didn't seem like anything I had said or done would have ever mattered. Even if I expressed to him a million different ways that he was the one I chose, that I wanted to be with him even if I didn't fully understand the feelings for him or what it was that I was feeling at all. I just knew that I wanted to be with him. But I wasn't ready or willing to commit to something that has kept secrets from me and that has put me in danger's path, with or without flaw. There just wasn't anyway that I was willing to live a life for something that wasn't willing to make my life worth living for. Yet, I was willing to live a life for Ben.

                I lost all track of how long I was roaming, I had found many different ways back to the dorm and around to the other places we had access to that I knew of. Before I had rounded the corner to head back to the dorms the sound of laughing stopped me dead in my tracks. I knew that laugh. That was Alex's laugh. And it wasn't just some "ha-ha that's hilarious" laugh, that was the laugh she gave when she was flustered, flattered, giddy. Though I had never had any sort of intimacy with a boy other than Ben, Alex had plenty of boyfriends and over time I became used to the different ways she acted with boys she liked.

                I swallowed hard and turned the corner. Walking down from the other end of the hall was Ben and Alex, both of them carrying bags in each hand as well as a drink tray. Ben was looking down, a slight smile on his face. But Alex, she was blushing, and walking a little too close to him than she ever would have before. I stopped walking, put my hands in the pockets of my jacket and watched. She looked at him, her brown bangs waving as she walked. She flipped her bangs out of her eyes and looked up at Ben and smiled wider, even though he didn't bother to look back at her or even give her the time of day.

                When they reached the dorms, Ben stopped and looked up. We both stared at each other, frozen still not wanting to move or look away and give into submission. Alex looked up, her eyes landing on me, and immediately her face paled and she quickly rushed into the dorms.

                "I brought food." Ben called, though I was only a few yards away, the distance seemed a lot further.

                "As well as a lost puppy." I said and scoffed then walked forward and straight into the dorm without giving him another look or word.

                Alex and Adam were sitting at their bunk, Alex whispering to Adam and trying very hard to avoid looking at me while Adam didn't seem to care at all and watched my every move. They were both tense, but on different levels. Hers was that of fear and his was that of protection. Even if I wanted to, I could never hurt Alex. She was still my best friend. She was like my sister and I would rather not talk to her than harm her in anyway. I just turned and lay down on my bunk and stared at the frame of Ben's bunk above mine.