I'm Jealous (Stan x Kyle)

NINE: Are we gay now?

Stan let Kyle into his house and stumbled his way up the stairs to his room, still reeking of alcohol. "Ughh..."

"Dude your soo drunk." Kyle snickered. "Yeah, well, so are you." "Pshh- Am not." Kyle wobbled up the stairs behind Stan.

"Sure." Kyle rolled his eyes and pushed his way in front of Stan. "You take forever to walk-" He pushed open the door of Stan's room and looked around.

"Just as messy as always." Kyle smiled and flopped onto Stan's bed. "Whatever, man." He laid down next to Kyle, looking over at him.
His eyes still looked puffy from crying, but his expression had changed into one of something unreadable.

He opened his mouth to speak, only to shut it when he saw Kyle's eyes close in on his. He looked away, his heart beating faster as he ran his fingers through his hair. Fuck.

"You good?" "Y- Uh- Yeah. All good." He picked at his nails and tried to calm himself down.

His lips felt so much colder now that they were apart from Kyle's. "You sure?"

Stan sat up, nodding.
"Do you ever- like- Feel like you're not really in your own body sometimes? Like...everything around you just doesn't feel real? Like a dream or something?"

...
"'Cuz like.. I dunno." He shrugged, laughing awkwardly. "Yeah. Like right now." Kyle snickered. "Okay, good. I was starting to worry I was the only one."

He turned his gaze back to Kyle, trying to read the boy's expression.

What is he thinking right now? Kyle gave him a smile and looked into Stan's eyes. He took a dramatic deep breath, smiling nervously.
"Um..."

Kyle gave him a confused expression. "You good?" "I'm fine, I'm just uh-... thinking, I guess?" "Wanna talk?"

"I dunno." Kyle gave him a smile and scooted closer to him. "Your hair looks really good blond."

"Oh, uh.. thanks, man."
His face heated up as he stared at Kyle. Kyle smiled and hummed. "Hey Kyle?" .. "Yeah?"

"Had you- um... Had you kissed anyone else before..we uh..." He trailed his words off, starting to regret his decision to speak at all. "No.." He said, embarrassed. He felt his stomach twist in knots, but he forced a laugh.

"Dude, seriously? We're in our junior year of high school!" He teased Kyle lightheartedly. "You say that as if I've ever had a proper girlfriend." He rolled his eyes.

He shrugged. "Hey, fair."
He giggled, pulling his feet up onto the bed in a crisscrossed manner.

Must be an awkward way to have a first kiss. I feel kind of bad for him. Kyle twirled his hair and smiled. "I think it was a really nice first kiss though." His eyes widened and he laughed nervously. "Uh.. yeah. Thanks."

I just want to try again. To act like before never happened, to ditch Wendy and to be able to kiss him.

"I think it was nice.. too." Kyle smiled, "I'm glad." Stan moved a strand of Kyle's curly hair out of his face, exposing his mellowed green eyes further. Kyle blushed and smiled, his heart racing.

Before Stan could think any further, his lips were pressed against the other boy's.
He leaned in further, hoping to burn the feeling into his mind to relive forever.

Kyle closed his eyes and kissed him back, putting his hand on Stan's cheek. He put both of his hands to Kyle's face, holding him delicately.
What the fuck am I doing What the fuck am I doing What the fuck am I doing Oh God Oh Fuck

Stan's hands started trembling. Kyle put his hands on Stan's wrists and pulled away. "What's wrong?" He frowned. "I'm so sorry. I'm— I don't know what I was thinking that was so fucking stupid."
His face was bright red and he looked like he was panicking.

"I'm so confused about everything right now." "Dude. Calm down." He moved Stan's hair away from his face. "You don't have to say sorry just because you wanted to kiss me." He snickered.

"I don't know WHY I wanted to kiss you. I don't think I like you, but like- I do?? I like girls. I've liked girls for as long as I can remember but I keep fucking noticing these little things I used to think or say or do when I thought about guys!"
He huffed in frustration.

"You know how I used to freak out and- and throw up all over Wendy? When I first got a crush on her??" "Yeah. It was super funny."

"I uh.. I think I do that with you." "Oh, that explains why you keep throwing up on me." Kyle laughed awkwardly. "Yeah."

"Stan, I have a question." Kyle took a deep breath. "...Yeah?" Stan pulled away, his heart sinking nervously.

"Do you like me, too?" He asked quietly. The question didn't feel real to him. It was surreal.

He had known Kyle for years of his life, they had done so much together. And he was so nervous to change that dynamic in any way.

"I.."
Stan felt a lump build in his throat.

He couldn't get the words out of his mouth. He felt stuck. "It's okay if you don't." Kyle mumbled. Instead of letting Kyle sit in silence, he took both of Kyle's hands and squeezed them tightly.

I'm trying so hard not to throw up on you right now. Kyle smiled. "You don't have to feel the same. I really don't want to ruin our friendship with my feelings if you don't feel the same."

Stan tried his best to get his words out, taking a long deep breath as to try not to vomit all over Kyle.

"I love you." He rushed the words out, staring dead into Kyle's eyes. Kyle smiled brightly, "I love you too, Stan." He pulled Stan into a hug and leaned his head on Stan's.

He felt a weight lift off of his shoulders, replaced with a flutter in his heart. A faint smile traced his lips.

I didn't throw up this time. "Thank you, Stan." "For what?" He snorted. "I don't know." Kyle shrugged.

They sat in silence for a moment before Kyle spoke again. "Does this mean you feel the same?" He asked, still unsure.

"Yeah. Yeah I think so." Kyle smiled and pulled away from the hug. "What does that make- us?" "I guess we're gay or something."

Kyle laughed. "Yeah." ... "I love you Stan." "I love you, too." Kyle gave him a peck on the lips and yawned. Stan flushed red, averting his gaze.
Sure he was flustered, but he wasn't really complaining.

Kyle laughed laid back down as he wrapped himself in Stan's blanket. "I'm so tired." "Same." Stan said, laying his head down next to Kyle. Kyle put the blanket over him and Stan and yawned once again.

"You gonna sleep?" "Mhmmmm." He hummed, closing his eyes. "Alright.. 'Night Ky." He slurred out, curling up and closing his eyes as well. "Night, Stan." He said, falling asleep.