Flowers of Remembrance - An Oumasai Fic

✿ ❀ Chapter 4 ❀ ✿

Needless to say, the rest of the month had been the most painful roller coaster for Kokichi so far. He had accidentally fostered feelings for Shuichi and now he was chasing Shuichi on a never-ending carousel. Kokichi was like a pirate with a flawed treasure map, who relentlessly followed Shuichi, the ultimate treasure. However, it was Kaede who held the key to Shuichi's heart. A smile from Kaede would make Shuichi beam with glee. A smile from Kokichi just resulted in a smaller smile from Shuichi. Kokichi loathed his want for Shuichi and hated Kaede more for keeping Shuichi from him. He didn't want to love Shuichi, but no telling himself he didn't love Shuichi would make Kokichi feel that way. Just like how no trick Kokichi pulled out of his sleeve would keep Shuichi from Kaede. The short-lived moments of Shuichi and Kokichi's time alone together or even around each other at all became scarce too quickly. Of course, they had their Wednesday lunchtime together, but it just wasn't enough. When Kokichi finally gave up and accepted he would never obtain the blossom that is Shuichi Saihara was when it happened.

He had been walking to class when an unexplainable tightness gripped his chest, causing his throat to begin to burn. It felt as if an invisible hand was squeezing the life out of him, leaving him gasping for air. The bustling corridor around him seemed to fade into insignificance as he came to an abrupt halt.

A sudden fit of harsh, raspy coughs erupted from deep within him, each one carrying an ounce of agony. His entire frame trembled with the force of it, leaving him feeling vulnerable. Panic immediately seeped into his racing thoughts, the sheer unexpectedness of it all overwhelmed his senses as they began to fade from Kokichi. The world turned into a grey haze; the talk of the corridor turned in a ringing buzz in his ear. He prayed no one was watching him like this right now.

With trembling hands, he hastily covered his mouth, desperate to stifle the nasty coughs that shook his body to its core. Suddenly, he coughed out something unexpected—a single petal. Its hue an enchanting shade of blue. However, a part of it was tarnished by crimson stains, an unnerving sight that sent a shiver down his spine.

As he held the delicate petal, rubbing the smooth texture between two of his fingers, he had no way of knowing that petal would intertwine his emotions and mortality in an excruciating waltz.

Aware he was losing time and that class would start soon, Kokichi pocketed the breath-taking petal and continued that day in a confused daze. Confused on about what exactly he had just experienced.

It was only until Kokichi had arrived back at his makeshift home did he finally gain the courage to take the petal out of his pocket. It was all scrunched up and tattered now, it had lost any beauty it held when he first coughed it out.

Out of all the questions this petal had dug up in Kokichi's mind, the most prominent two was 'How did he cough up a petal?' and 'Why did he cough up a petal?'. No matter how much sitting and thinking he could do he was stumped on the two questions. So, he resorted to his trusty friend google, who did not give him any answers he liked.

Thousands upon thousands of websites came up under the search "Why am I coughing up petals?" all contradicting one another on the topic of this Hanahaki disease. Some websites explained that Hanahaki disease is a disease in which the victim coughs up flowers when they suffer from unrequited love. The disease can only be cured when their beloved reciprocates the romantic feelings, otherwise the victim dies. The early stages of the disease are merely coughing up petals every once in a while, when the disease progresses the victim is more likely to cough up whole flowers as they are growing inside the victims' lungs. Finally, if the victim's disease is not cured the flowers will eventually grow in number and will fatally suffocate the victim. There is surgery that can be performed on the victim, the catch is it removes the victims' romantic feelings towards their beloved and their memories of ever feeling love towards them. However, other websites completely dismissed Hanahaki disease, claiming it was fake. Flowers in lungs? It sounds ridiculous! Clearly people were only saying they had this disease to gain attention and manipulate their beloved to love them back. Kokichi probably would've believed the websites declaring Hanahaki wasn't real if he didn't have his own petal in his hand.

So, this was it? He was destined to die? Because the last thing he would do would be confess his feelings to Shuichi. Especially not when he's all up in Kaede's world. He would never voluntarily put himself in such a vulnerable situation, especially when he's bound to get rejected. Of course, he could always find some way to afford the surgery; but even when thinking with emotions and not his head got him into this situation, he didn't want to lose his feelings for Shuichi. Loving Shuichi made him feel the most human he's ever felt. Not that he was some lame robot like Keebo or anything like that. He just felt emptier with every new lie he brought to life.

With nothing else left to do, all questions answered, he retired to bed with the daunting knowledge there was nothing else for him to do in the world but wait to die.

~ 937 words ~