Flowers of Remembrance - An Oumasai Fic

✿ ❀ Chapter 5 ❀ ✿

The next day at school Kokichi wasn't feeling himself. Who could really blame him though? Kokichi now knows it was only a matter of time until he died, never truly leaving his mark on the world.

Mourning his own impending death while still alive was a rather strange and unsettling experience. It's like getting caught in an unyielding storm of sorrow, where the relentless downpour of knowing time is limited drenches every moment. His spirit sought shelter, seeking refuge from the flood of desires split between embracing the urgency to make the most of the remaining time and looking for solace from the weight of the impending end. There's an overpowering sense of loss, not just for what's already gone, but for the dreams and possibilities that won't be fulfilled. He needed to find a way to delicately balance cherishing the present while also grieving a future that won't happen, which seemed impossible. The world took on a mix of bitterness and sweetness for Kokichi, every last joy that might greet him would come with the understanding that it would soon fade away.

Admittedly, the news still shocked Kokichi, his mind had become a battlefield. A war of thoughts torn between accepting his death and denying it. It felt significantly easier to deny it although he knew he shouldn't. This ultimately left Kokichi too exhausted to put up his façade for the day. Too tired to even try. So, he remained with a neutral stare, speculating if it would just be better if he died then and there.

Of course, Shuichi Saihara was the first and only person to be concerned about the lack of Kokichi's usual flare. "Leave him alone," Kokichi had overheard Maki telling Shuichi "He's better this way," she declared. Yet Shuichi being the compassionate person he is, didn't listen to her and approached Kokichi anyway. "Are you okay Kokichi?" Shuichi inquired with his angelic voice.

"Yeah, just tired," Kokichi hummed in response.

"That's it? Nothing else?"

"Yeah,"

Shuichi was stunned at how straight-forward Kokichi was being. Kokichi was too drained to care about Shuichi's reaction.

"Would you like to hang out together at lunch? Just the two of us?" Shuichi kindly offered. If anyone else suggested this to Kokichi he'd grow a burning hatred for them, he strongly disliked when people pitied him. But coming out of Shuichi's mouth it felt relieving of sorts, so he nodded in agreement. "I'll see you at lunch then," Shuichi concludes with a soft smile before parting ways with Kokichi and re-joining with his true friends.

When lunch eventually came around the two boys met in their usual spot under the shade of the tree where they had spent their first lunch together. Shuichi instinctively broke off a small portion of his lunch and handed it to Kokichi who began to nibble on it. "So, what's the matter?" Shuichi asked delicately.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kokichi denied swiftly.

"Yes, you do, you've been quiet all today. You haven't made a single comment about anything," Shuichi gently presses on.

"I told you, I'm tired. You're worrying over nothing." Kokichi shut down the conversation and Shuichi knew if he re-started the conversation they would merely go around in circles. With a new goal in mind, Shuichi was determined to make Kokichi happy. To do this Shuichi recalled all of the things he concluded Kokichi was passionate about from prior interactions with him and brought them up in conversation. Despite how much Kokichi doesn't want to admit it, Shuichi was able to crack a smile or two from the now fragile purple boy.

It was only when Kokichi was starting to enjoy the happiness Shuichi brought him was when the feeling came back again. The air escaped his lungs in a sudden gasp, his heart raced with the adrenaline. He sensed the widening of both Shuichi and his own eyes. He fought the stiffness that threatened to freeze his limbs and propelled himself away from Shuichi. He ran as far as he could from Shuichi and refused to look back. The convulsions that wracked his body were unbearable, halting him to a stop, it was a cruel reminder of the struggle within which left him dreading the time when he would have to cough up entire flowers. Summoning every ounce of willpower, he mustered yet another bout of effort. He finally coughed up the dreaded petal, stained even deeper with blood than the last.

He didn't know Shuichi had been chasing after him until he was close to catching up with him which left Kokichi panicking to hide the petal. When Shuichi did catch up, he was huffing and puffing, and concern was evident in his eyes. "Kokichi why did you suddenly just take off like that?" He interrogated. Kokichi was desperately clutching onto the string of another mask to put on, trying to conjure up a convincing lie, which he failed horribly at "I wanted to play a game of chasey?". He mentally pace palmed, but it was the best he could do considering his exhaustion. In all honesty it didn't really matter if Shuichi believed the lie, which he clearly didn't, Kokichi just had to ensure Shuichi's gaze didn't gravitate towards his clenched fist hiding the petal.

To Kokichi's surprise, lady luck graced him with her presence for once as when Shuichi opened his mouth to further pry into Kokichi's lies and poor act the school bell rang. This left Shuichi with a frowning. "I have to go now... Just take care of yourself, okay?" Shuichi requested. Kokichi neither accepted or denied this request. Shuichi hesitantly left Kokichi to go to his next class.

Like hell he cares enough to actually value my health. He may act like we're friends, but no one can stand me enough to be my friend. It's clear where his true loyalties lie anyway, with Kaede and her minions. Were the thoughts that flashed into his mind between the exhaustion and chest pains.

He reminded himself not to get too worked up over things, nothing would matter to him soon enough. Nothing can matter to a dead person and he was merely a dead person walking. 

~ 1032 words ~