Your hand in mine

Season 1 - 12

"You're not staying?"

Jennie grins. "Y/n," she gives her a pointed look. "This is your hospital. You know they don't let visitors stay overnight."

Y/n grows visibly flustered, and she really should've seen it coming. "Oh, that's - you're right. Of course. I should've - okay, let me talk to Bob, and I'm sure we can make an excep-"

"Y/n/n. Y/n!" Jennie catches Y/n's arm just as the suddenly frantic woman is about to run off somewhere. "It's okay. It's my mother's shift, she'll stay with him. I'll come back here first thing in the morning. She let me look at his chart. He's not in a critical condition and he needs his rest anyway. Plus, he told me to go get some sleep and he wouldn't take 'no' for an answer."

Y/n stills and turns, giving Jennie a careful, slow look. When a moment passes and she doesn't say anything, Jennie shifts on her feet. "What?"

She watches as Y/n shakes her head, losing the trance she seemingly found herself in. "Nothing, I just..." she blinks, coming closer to Jennie. Tentatively reaches out and brushes a lock of brown hair away from her face. "Your smile is happy, and it's... It's very beautiful," she finishes quietly. "And I'm so happy for you. For your father."

All Jennie can think - feel - of doing is leaning forward and resting her forehead against Y/n's. Closing her eyes, knowing Y/n will do the same. She smiles wider when she feels Y/n's long lashes graze her cheeks when she does exactly that.

"Thank you," she croaks out. "For everything. Y/n, thank you so much ." she is out of breath, almost completely, by the time she finished speaking, because - her dad is okay. Alive. Breathing and speaking and able to squeeze her hand back, clumsy, sloppy, when she squeezes his. All thanks to Y/n. Yes, she knows that it's another week or maybe even a month before they'd be able to tell if it really was the new treatment that helped or he did it on his own, but she also knows that it was the program that gave her, her father back. The program and timing. If Y/n didn't put his name in the first wave, there's a good chance he would've died before the second wave of the program rolled around.

Her plan worked.

She leans in and presses a soft kiss to Y/n's lips just before Y/n begins to say she shouldn't be thanking her, and maybe the plan didn't work out quite the way she imagined, but when she feels Y/n start to kiss back, she can't help but think that it's not a bad thing at all.

"Shh," she whispers when she pulls away and Y/n goes to say something. She is not... She can't say she is entirely sure about everything between them, but - she's getting there. She wants to get there, she thinks. But there are too many thoughts and feelings making her head spin, and she needs some time to make sense of it all. So she smiles. "Let's go home."

-

How do you know you're in love? The thought flashes through her mind over and over as she runs down the stairs that are so familiar yet so foreign. It's been - how long has it been since she was here last? She can't even remember. She is sure she'd be able to if she tried. But she doesn't want to.

She drove over to Kai's. Y/n took her home and held her till she fell asleep, but around two, she woke up with a start, and there was a text. From Kai. She didn't even know how he found out about her father, but he texted her he was happy. And - she wanted to ignore him. She really, really did, but something stopped her. She thought, with a scared heart, that it was longing, and maybe it was. They shared a past. Memories. Love, even. So when he called her, two minutes after sending that text, she picked up.

"Hey," Kai's strangled greeting was quiet, but to her, it rang loud, too loud with Y/n in the next room. "I miss you."

And she knew - she fucking knew it was a bad idea, so why did she climb out of bed, took his call and drove over to him? She missed him, she tells herself, now, sitting behind the wheel in her car. She missed him. He meant something to her. He still means something to her.