Slipping through my fingers- Keisuke Baji X Reader

Chapter one: Lost him too

(Α/n- I would like to say for those that don't know:
Y/n-Your name
L/n- Last name
E/c- eyes color
H/c- hair color
Thank you and i hope you enjoy.😉)

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"When you asked my why she is this way, I told you that it was because, she can't accept that she has to live for him, without him."
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Third Person's POV:
The twenty-seven year old man named Takuro went on the balcony lighting up his cigarette. He calmly smoked while looking at the city that was sleeping peacefully undisturbed as the rains drops continued to flow quickly and steady. Takuro looked at the big sign of the company that was still glowing red even if the company was closed. He squinted his eyes to see what was written under the big sign with smaller letters. A few raindrops fell on his his hair and he gently brushed his fingers through his light brown locks straightening them. The door of the balcony opened and his female coworker entered the balcony staring blankly at the rain. Neither Takuro or his other coworkers could understand why Y/n L/n was always so calm and collected. There were some rumors about her having a dark past but he didn't believe them. Looking at her a question popped in his mind and without thinking he said.

"Why are you always so unsociable?"
"That's quite the accusation. Why do you think so?" She said her face still blank.
"Well... you never talk to anyone and don't take it personally but you seem so shallow and empty of life." He said facing her.
"Tell me...Takuro. Does life value to you? Do you know why exactly we live?" She said turning to him as her e/c eyes stared into his blue ones. But even tho she was looking him in the eyes still all Takuro saw was emptiness. She wasn't full of life like most people. It even seemed as though her brain didn't function.
"Well life does indeed value to me. I live to try and make the people around me happier. You know...my family, my friends, my girlfriend." He responded confidently.
"And what if there was no one you could live for? What would you do then?" She said looking him right in the eyes again as her cold gaze met his. Something about the way she said that made Takuro snap. His eyes widened and his mouth slightly opened.
"Do you...not have them?I mean a boyfriend or friends or even...family." He said shaking his head a little trying to get the thought out of his mind.
"No. I don't. My parents passed away when I was still eleven. My fiends are dead as well...at least most of them are. And my boyfriend...I lost him too."she said blankly as her eyes stared at the rain again.
"I-I'm sorry." Was all he could utter as he looked at her in shock and distress. Y/n was only a twenty-four years old young woman. She surely did not deserve all that. And Takuro felt guilty. He worked with Y/n from four years and nobody spoke with her seeing as she was so closed off. But Takuro thought that maybe if he head decided to speak to her he would have understood her and maybe even became friends with her. But he didn't. And that honestly made him feel guilty and stupid for rejecting the idea of her so fast.
"What are you apologizing for? It's all my fault. No matter how many times I go back I never do the right thing. It never works. So I just gave up." She said waving off his apology. The two coworkers didn't know what else to say and a awkward silence engulfed them. After a few minutes Y/n awkwardly said 'goodbye' as she left. Takuro followed her movements with his eyes as she was collecting her things from her desk and putting them in her bag before slowly leaving.

   Y/n walked down the streets with her hood up to cover her from the rain. She eventually stopped on the bus station sitting on the bench and looking at her phone. It was there. Written on her Lock Screen. The date- 'October 30 2017'. Tomorrow was...tomorrow she had to visit his grave. Her heart tightened and she signed desperately wanting to shake the feeling off but it didnt work. It never did. Every time she thought of him her heart tightened and there was this feeling in her chest like she couldn't breathe. Twelve years back that feeling was butterflies in her stomach and her cheeks burning hot but then again almost everything changed. The only things that didn't change were those painful memories.No mater how much time passed she could still clearly imagine his straight black locks. His smile that always made his fangs show and she used to find it adorable. She loved it all. She loved him. But now she wishes she never met him. Or fell in love with him. And she knew it was selfish but it just hunted too much. Four times. She leaped through time four times and tried to save him. With every attempt she became more broken and desperate. Seeing him die four times made her feel worthless, weak, dumb and unworthy. Unworthy of his love. But she just didn't understand what she did wrong. For god's sake she just wanted answers. She was so confused.
    The sound of the buss arriving snapped her out of her thoughts as she entered and sat on the closest seat she could see. The buss was almost empty besides the driver and a drunk man that was sleeping in the back and looked like he's been here for hours. After she observed her surrounding Y/n pulled her headphones out of her bag. She turned them on putting them on her ears before entering Spotify and putting on her liked songs. She scrolled down her liked songs until she reached the songs she had liked in 2005. Some people will say she's crazy for not unliking them or not changing her account . Bout she couldn't bring herself two for two reasons. The first one was that she had so many memories of her friends and her screaming and dancing to these songs in a funny way. And second it reminded her of the difference. The songs she listened to then...happy and cheerful. And the songs she listened to now... depressing and sad. Y/n has admitted many times that she hates changes. But those changes that were in her character were just the reality. A thought crossed her mind.
She lost him too.The love of her life...Keisuke Baji.
(A/n-Okay so here's the first chapter. I hope you liked it. I sincerely apologize if there are mistakes but sometimes when I type quickly things get messed up. I'm sorry that this chapter was a little depressing but I promise that the next one will be better. And if not the next one than the third. I'm also sorry if you don't like my writing. This is my first story but I love to write and I've wread a lot of x readers. If you don't like something please point it out and I'll try to fix it. Thank you all for reading my story and I'm sorry if the updates will be slow but I have exams now.😅)