As soon as Five warped into the kitchen he realized his mistake.
Luther and Allison were arguing.
"So which is it?!" Luther yelled. "You can't have it both ways!"
Allison spotted Five first and plastered on a smile. "Five! Hey!"
Luther startled, spinning around. "Oh... Five."
Five straightened his tie. "I see I have bad timing," he said. "I'll make myself scarce."
"No, no!" Allison said. "You're my Valentine, we- let's go out. Just you and me."
She glanced at Luther, directing towards him a smile which held a particular kind of venom, and added, "Since Luther has a date."
Five shook his head. "We can do that later. You two just... carry on."
And he blinked into another room.
Five wasn't stupid. He knew what the conflict was. But there was also this nagging feeling at the back of his mind, a vague certainty, that he'd forgotten something important. What was it? And what would it solve?
When Allison flew back to New York she did not take the problem with her. Luther obsessed over her like a divorcée with an ax to grind.
"And she said Valentine's Day should be a family holiday!" Luther ranted. "A family holiday?!"
Klaus had mastered the art of sympathetically nodding. "The nerve of that woman."
"That's just," Ben looked embarrassed, he paused- as if reconsidering his words- but then continued. "That's what you say when you don't have a date."
Ben and Vanya had made the trip to California this time. They, and Allison, were the members of the family who'd born the holiday date-less.
"Am I being unreasonable?" Luther said. "Should I have cancelled my date?"
"Of course not," Five said. "She's the unreasonable one."
"Amen!" Klaus said.
"But maybe you should have warned her?" Ben said. "Told her about it ahead of time?"
"Nuh uh!" Klaus said. "If I were you and my... and she hadn't expected me to have a date, I would have been insulted!"
Luther sighed. "No, I probably should have told her. I just... I didn't even know she was going to be in New York for Valentine's Day. I mean, after last year..."
Five nodded.
"What happened last year?" Ben said.
Klaus giggled. "They got mistaken for a cute little family."
"Huh?" Ben said.
"A waitress thought I was their son," Five said. "Allison flipped out."
"She likes to say it's all about her image," Klaus said. "Oh, she just couldn't live with the shame of it!"
"I'm confused," Ben said.
"You don't think that's the reason?" Luther stared at Klaus with an expression that mingled hope and horror. "She said... but I guess it doesn't matter now."
"Guys, I'm so confused," Ben said.
"I'll explain it to you later," Five said.
"Anywho!" Klaus said. "How was your date? Did she put out? Did'ja touch tongues?"
"Don't be crass," Five said.
"Did she like the bear?" Ben asked. Before Luther could answer, Ben turned to Klaus and added, "I helped him make a really cute one at Build A Bear Workshop."
