[ON HOLD] waiting room, caitlin clark

1. i have emotional motion sickness

CHAPTER ONE.
imessage and narrative
not proofread sorryyy

before liv leaves for indiana.

cait

via
hey, are you home?

cait
yeah, what's up?

via
just needed to check
via
we need to talk

cait
is it bad?

via
i don't really know
message erased
via
i'll just see you in a bit, okay?
i just got out of iowa city so

cait
via, you're scaring me

via
it's okay. i'm driving so
i'm gonna get off of my
phone.

cait
okay, see you soon

I take a deep breath as I turn onto Caitlin's road. It was a shot in the dark, wondering if she was going to be home or not, but leaving my house anyway. We're nearly three hours away from each other and I texted her almost an hour after I left my house, so if she wasn't home, I was screwed.

My hands feel like they're about to start shaking, a huge pit in my stomach. I met Caitlin on the U19 team for USA, it's where we became best friends. Over the past year, every once in a while (a couple of times a month) we would meet up, leading to a couple of kisses between us and (more recently) sometimes a hook up. We liked each other, sure, but in the long run, it wasn't going to work.

I park in front of Caitlin's house, shooting her a text to let her know I was there. She comes outside in a Dowling sweatshirt on and a pair of black athletic shorts.

She's committed to the University of Iowa, only two hours from her. I'm going to Indiana University, probably too far away for comfort, but my mom went there, so she's been pushing that since I was young.

Caitlin slides into my passenger seat and I almost refuse to look at her for a few moments, actively telling my brain to not let me hate myself after this.

I take a deep breath as the silence breaks, "Is something wrong?" she asks, placing her hand close to mine on the center console. She already knows that answer, but I shake my head anyway.

I look at our hands, mere centimeters apart, and the only thing I want to do is intertwine our fingers like I had so many times before. My eyes move up her body until they meet her eyes. She's staring back at me and my stomach turns into knots.